Best authoritative parenting tips you should know


Authoritative parenting is critical to the positive development of children.

Parenting is a profound and weighty duty that fosters, directs, and uplifts children throughout their growth journey. It entails creating a secure and nurturing atmosphere, instilling principles and ethics, promoting education and cognitive advancement, and safeguarding emotional welfare.

Furthermore, effective communication, establishing boundaries, and fostering independence is significant in parenting.

Striking a harmonious balance between work and family life, embracing adaptability and flexibility, and perpetually acquiring knowledge while engaging in self-reflection are indispensable for successful parenthood.

Despite the numerous obstacles that arise, the benefits of parenting are immeasurable, as it profoundly impacts the well-being and future triumphs of the child.

What is authoritative parenting?

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Authoritative parenting is a balanced and effective parenting style that combines clear rules and expectations with warmth, responsiveness, and understanding. These parents set boundaries for their children while explaining their reasoning and offering guidance.

According to the American Psychological Association, "In this parenting style, the parents are nurturing, responsive, and supportive, yet set firm limits for their children. They attempt to control children's behavior by explaining rules, discussing, and reasoning. They listen to a child's viewpoint but don't always accept it."

They are responsive to their children's needs, provide emotional support, and value open communication.

Rather than resorting to strict discipline, they use reasoning and negotiation to resolve conflicts. They encourage independence, gradually increase responsibilities, and help their children develop self-discipline and problem-solving skills. 

Research shows that children raised by parents employing authoritative parenting style tend to have positive outcomes, including higher self-esteem, social competence, and academic achievement.

What is authoritarian parenting?

Authoritarian parenting is a strict and controlling parenting style characterized by rigid rules, high expectations, and a focus on obedience.

Parents who adopt this style tend to prioritize discipline and control over fostering independence and emotional expression in their children. They enforce rules through punishment and rarely involve their children in decision-making or negotiation. 

While some children may respond well to the structure and clear boundaries provided by authoritarian parenting, excessive authoritarianism can lead to adverse outcomes such as low self-esteem, limited problem-solving skills, and difficulties in social interactions.

Key differences: Authoritative vs. authoritarian parenting

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Knowing the difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting is crucial for the family.

Authoritative parenting

1. Authoritative parenting is characterized by parents who set clear rules and expectations for their children while being responsive and supportive.

Example: A parent who sets reasonable boundaries and explains the rules' reasons while encouraging open communication and providing guidance when needed.

2. This child-rearing approach strive­s to strike a balance betwe­en enforcing rules and de­monstrating affection, resulting in enhance­d independence­, boosted self-confidence­, and improved decision-making abilities among children.

Example: Parents who e­ncourage their child to share the­ir thoughts and ideas while also providing them with re­asonable options and encouraging teamwork for conflict re­solution.

3. Authoritative pare­nts create a nurturing environment that enables children to grow inde­pendent and disciplined, me­anwhile providing guidance and structure.

Example: When pare­nts discuss actions and their consequence­s with their child, they encourage­ them to think about their behavior. More­over, they support their e­fforts in learning from errors and making progress.

4. This parenting style­ prioritizes open communication and mutual respe­ct, building a positive parent-child relationship founde­d on trust.

Example: When pare­nts actively listen to their child's thoughts and fe­elings, validate their e­motions, and engage in constructive conve­rsations to resolve conflicts, it strengthe­ns the bond betwee­n them. This behavior fosters a safe­ environment for family communications.

5. Authoritative parents promote the development of critical thinking and problem-solving skills in their children by allowing them to make age-appropriate decisions and learn from their experiences.

Example: Parents who encourage their child to weigh options, consider consequences, and make choices within appropriate boundaries while offering guidance and support. 

6. Authoritative parenting is associated with positive outcomes such as higher academic achievement, better social skills, and increased self-confidence in children. 

Example: Children raised by authoritative parents tend to excel academically due to the structure and support provided at home, and they often display strong interpersonal skills and a sense of self-assurance

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Authoritarian parenting 

1. Strict rules, high expectations, and little room for flexibility or negotiation characterize authoritarian parenting. 

Example: Parents who enforce obedience without explanation, use punitive measures as the primary discipline, and expect unquestioning compliance. 

2. This parenting style strongly emphasizes control and conformity, often focusing on the parent's authority over the child. 

Example: Parents who dictate their child's daily routines, activities, and choices, leaving little room for the child's individuality or personal preferences. 

3. Authoritarian parents prioritize discipline over nurturing, leading to a more rigid and fear-based parenting approach. 

Example: Parents who punish their child harshly for minor mistakes discourage open communication and display little warmth or emotional support. 

4. Authoritarian parenting can lead to a higher likelihood of rebellious behavior and strained parent-child relationships, as children may feel suppressed and resentful. 

Example: Children who rebel against their parents' strict rules and expectations engage in secretive or defiant behavior to assert their autonomy. 

5. This parenting style may inhibit children's ability to develop effective decision-making and problem-solving abilities since they need opportunities to think critically and take the initiative. 

Example: Children who struggle with decision-making lack confidence in their choices and rely heavily on external guidance or approval. 

6. Authoritarian parenting may result in children having lower self-esteem and a diminished sense of self-worth due to their parents' constant criticism and unrealistic expectations.

Example: Children who develop a negative self-image, feel inadequate, or fear failure due to the continuous pressure to meet high standards set by their parents. 

15 best authoritative parenting tips

Image: James X | Unsplash 

Here are some best authoritative parenting tips you should know:

1. Establish clear and consistent rules and boundaries for your child.

2. Be a positive role model by displaying the behaviors you want to see in your child.

3. Communicate effectively with your child, actively listening to their thoughts and concerns.

4. Provide a nurturing and supportive environment that promotes emotional well-being.

5. Encourage independence and responsibility by assigning age-appropriate chores and tasks.

6. Set realistic expectations and praise your child's efforts and accomplishments.

7. Use discipline strategies focusing on teaching rather than punishment, such as natural or logical consequences.

8. Foster open and honest communication by creating a safe space for your child to express their feelings and opinions.

9. Encourage problem-solving and decision-making skills by involving your child in discussions and allowing them to make choices within appropriate boundaries.

10. Practice active and engaged parenting by participating in your child's activities and showing interest in their interests.

11. Provide opportunities for learning and personal growth inside and outside the classroom.

12. Teach empathy and respect for others by modeling these behaviors and promoting understanding different perspectives.

13. Practice self-care and manage your stress levels to be present and patient with your child.

14. Continuously educate yourself about child development and parenting strategies to adapt to your child's changing needs.

15. Build a solid and loving relationship with your child by spending quality time together and expressing love and affection regularly.

Godly parenting: a Christian perspective

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." - Proverbs 22:6

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Authoritative parenting, characterized by a blend of structure and support, is widely recognized as advantageous for a child's growth. In contrast, authoritarian parenting can detrimentally impact a child's self-esteem, independence, and overall well-being.

CNBC reports: "Studies have found that authoritative parents are more likely to raise confident kids who achieve academic success, have better social skills, and are more capable at problem-solving."

To foster healthy development, it is crucial to strike a harmonious parenting style that considers each child's unique needs and temperament.

While a certain degree of structure and discipline can be beneficial, an excessive emphasis on control and a lack of emotional support can impede a child's progress. To create an environment conducive to growth, open communication, mutual respect, and the encouragement of autonomy and independence are essential aspects of a well-rounded parenting approach.

Godly parenting was first seen during creation in the Garden of Eden. God has given Adam and Eve free to do whatever they want. But there are strict and specific rules and guidelines to observe and follow.

Authoritative parenting is an example of godly parenting.

God is our Father who created us for His good and purposes. He is also the God of love who wants everything good to happen in our lives.

By training our children on the ways of the Lord, we prepare them for a righteous life on earth and a glorious seat in eternity.

More from Crossmap: 6 Insightful and Powerful Christian Parenting Books

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    Joseph Antonio Liao

    Joseph is a freelance writer, Christian minister, and author of the book: "Sober with God." Joseph maintains a website:josephantonioliao.com He has also been active in sharing the Gospel in churches, drug rehabs, and homes and on how God heals the individual and the family from the wreckage of drug abuse and alcoholism.

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