So often this fact is missed in the evangelical church. They teach as if both have a say in the marriage ending. That is simply not always the case.

Many have experienced the double trauma of being cheated on and then discarded by the cheater.

Without knowing (and sadly, sometimes with full knowledge), some Christians add salt to these wounds. They push the faithful spouse to accept responsibility for the divorce (and infidelity)–even though, both were chosen by another.

We need to understand this fact. Some people are divorced without having a say in the matter because divorce can happen with just one party deciding.

Even if it is for the “best” as it frees the faithful spouse from the cheater, it is still painful, and the faithful spouse does not deserve to be shamed for any of it.

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*A version of this post ran previously.