Cheater: "I don't know if I can commit to our marriage." - Divorce Minister

Skip to content

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mattew 19:6b, KJV

“I don’t know if I can commit to our marriage,” says the cheater.

“Well, that tells me what I need to know. It is probably best we are not married anymore. I see now by your ambivalence that our values–liking keeping our vows before God–do not align,” replies the faithful spouse. 

Keeping their vows before God apparently has a lower value to cheaters speaking this way than keeping their “options” open.

You cannot force someone to work on a relationship. It takes two people to reconcile and rebuild.

Their ambivalence is your answer…

The marriage is dead. Rebuilding is not an option with a cheater in that state. You cannot fix this on your own.

Please save yourself the therapy bills and hours. The cheater has thereby declared their values do not align with yours. Their god is not your God for your God demands obedience and keeping of one’s own vows.

People who are true followers of Christ ought not to need convincing as it comes to committing to the marriage they entered into before their God. They are not ambivalent about honoring their own words and commitments.

If a cheater is egging you on to convince them to stay in the marriage and work on the issues there, please walk away. They already showed they lack integrity by cheating on you.

Besides, it is not your job to convince another person of the value of keeping their own vows to you and God

Do you really want to be married to someone who needs such convincing?

I sure don’t.

Our values and who we truly worship do not align if I need to do that sort of convincing. They just don’t.

____________

Appreciate the messages shared here? Check out my book:

Give

Subscribe to the Daybreak Devotions for Women

Be inspired by God's Word every day! Delivered to your inbox.


More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    Such a sucker punch! - Divorce Minister

    His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep. -Genesis 37:35, NLT Out of nowhere. That is how grief works sometimes. It reminds us of the loss even when we thought we were … Continue reading "Such a sucker punch!"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Red Flag: Empathy sin teaching - Divorce Minister

    The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. -John 1:14, NIV Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. -Romans 12:15, KJV Recently, empathy has encountered push back in … Continue reading "Red Flag: Empathy sin teaching"

    4 min read
  • featureImage

    Permission to divorce comes with permission to remarry - Divorce Minister

    When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when … Continue reading "Permission to divorce comes with permission to remarry"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    What kind of harvest? - Divorce Minister

    7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in … Continue reading "What kind of harvest?"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Cheater: "I sorted the issues around my affair with my therapist. We're good." - Divorce Minister

    “I talked through my issues around the affair with my therapist. We’re good now,” says Cheater. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.“ -Mark 10:11, NIV An affair is a violation of the marriage vow to “forsake all others.” The cheater has sinned against their spouse–whether physically or … Continue reading "Cheater: “I sorted the issues around my affair with my therapist. We’re good.”"

    2 min read

Editor's Picks

More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    Such a sucker punch! - Divorce Minister

    His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep. -Genesis 37:35, NLT Out of nowhere. That is how grief works sometimes. It reminds us of the loss even when we thought we were … Continue reading "Such a sucker punch!"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Red Flag: Empathy sin teaching - Divorce Minister

    The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. -John 1:14, NIV Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. -Romans 12:15, KJV Recently, empathy has encountered push back in … Continue reading "Red Flag: Empathy sin teaching"

    4 min read
  • featureImage

    Permission to divorce comes with permission to remarry - Divorce Minister

    When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when … Continue reading "Permission to divorce comes with permission to remarry"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    What kind of harvest? - Divorce Minister

    7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in … Continue reading "What kind of harvest?"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Cheater: "I sorted the issues around my affair with my therapist. We're good." - Divorce Minister

    “I talked through my issues around the affair with my therapist. We’re good now,” says Cheater. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.“ -Mark 10:11, NIV An affair is a violation of the marriage vow to “forsake all others.” The cheater has sinned against their spouse–whether physically or … Continue reading "Cheater: “I sorted the issues around my affair with my therapist. We’re good.”"

    2 min read