Cheater not filing, NOT enough! - Divorce Minister
“A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah.” Jesus then left them and went away.
-Matthew 16:4, NIV
Some Christian leaders will encourage faithful spouses to stay in marriages if their cheater chooses not to file for divorce.
I am NOT one of those!
A cheater who chooses not to file for divorce may still continue lying, cheating, and abusing the faithful spouse. Staying in that sort of marriage is unwise for the faithful spouse.
Pastors who counsel faithful spouses to stay in such sin-ravaged marriages are prioritizing “intact marriages” over the spiritual and general well-being of both parties, in my opinion. It is not right.
Jesus gives faithful spouses the freedom to choose divorce independent of the cheater’s actions in the matter as I read Scripture (e.g. Mt 19:9). This means the cheater’s actions post-infidelity do not have the power to revoke this freedom.
A faithful spouse might decide to work with a cheater if he or she actually engages in repentance. In fact, I think most faithful spouses hope for such an outcome yet discover cheaters rarely walk the path of real repentance.
Staying with a cheater who is not sorry and unwilling to rebuild what they destroyed is unwise. Sadly, it may mean pulling the divorce filing trigger yourself.
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