Early 20’s struggles: Career or love life

Stuck in choosing between your career or the love of your life? 

Life is so wonderful in our early 20’s. This is where we start taking the first step of making our dreams a reality. 

Despite being young and free, one struggle is choosing their priorities. 

What if you are so driven to fulfill your goals yet fall in love? Is it falling in love at the wrong time and place? Do we have to choose between our career and our love?

In some cases, people in their early 20s choose opportunities a hundred miles away from their partner. This is where their struggles come in.

Also, some effort to manage their time between their relationship and work despite being in one city.

Things to consider in choosing over career or love life

There are a lot of factors to consider if we are caught in a dilemma of choosing love over work. 

Before deciding, you should know all your considerations and seek God’s guidance. Remember that we must submit to Him in all our ways so He will make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:6).

Here are some things to help you decide which should come first, your relationship or your career.

Is it a serious relationship

The first thing you must ask yourself is how serious the relationship is. Either you regret your decisions if you would not think of the seriousness of your relationship in your 20s. 

Falling in love at this age can be extreme, and you may think you will never find someone else who means that much to you. 

However, you also have to consider if you give up an opportunity to develop your career or do a work you love, you could regret it. 

Thus, think deeply about whether the relationship is that significant because there is a possibility that you may not end up with marriage. 

You might be wasting your time and energy on a person in a relationship that is not serious. 

Is it a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity in your career

Not all people in their 20s are given a chance to jumpstart in the career that they have been dreaming of. We would never know if we would still get the same or better kinds of opportunities in the future. 

So, you must decide whether to take the chance now or never. Consider your feelings if you passed on something exciting for the sake of your relationship, only to find that you would not last anyway. 

Moreover, you can seek advice from someone who had the same experience, or someone mature enough to give you the right decision, such as your parents, pastors, and elders.

Is your partner willing to make arrangements?

For those who have been given a chance to level up on their career but in different cities or countries, consider having a long-distance relationship. 

They say that if you genuinely love the person, you would support them in his career no matter how far and complicated it could be.

After all, love is all about making sacrifices. If that relationship is severe, you and your partner are willing to sacrifice not being together for some time. 

Also, if your partner genuinely loves you, they are not selfish not to let you explore and achieve your dreams. 

Moreover, there are a lot of successful long-distance relationships despite their challenges. A temporary separation could help clarify whether you want to last with your partner. 

It could be one of your trials to see whether the love is true.

Can you manage both your career and relationship

It is not always an “either/or” case. If the opportunity does not require you to relocate to other places, you might consider managing your career and love life. 

However, this could be challenging because there are times when you would have extended hours for work to meet your deadlines and a few times for date nights. 

Starting a career in your early 20s could demand more time and effort, so it is a matter of mutual understanding. 

If your job and relationship are equally important to you, you can always look for ways to make your love life and career fit into your life. 

If two people are seriously in love with each other, they could find ways to be both successful in their career and their relationship.

You are young

There are a lot of things that life could offer you because you are still young. The relationship that means everything to you right now may fade as you grow and mature. 

We all change as we get older and realize how tough life is. Remember that though your partner means so much to you, they are not the only significant thing in your life. Soon you might feel stagnant in your relationship.

If you rely on your whole life in your relationship, you will be lost if separated. Also, when you try to decide on things like living together, it would cause you to sin against God.

What to do before choosing between a career and a relationship

What are your next steps now that you have taken all the considerations? 

Choosing between your love life and career could be very tough once you realize that both are valuable to you. So here are some things you can do before making a decision.

Pray and seek God’s wisdom

“ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” - James 1:5

No one could better understand your situation than the one who created you. If you do not know what to do or what to choose, then pray and ask for God’s wisdom. Do not just listen to your heart because it could be deceiving. 

Additionally, God is generous enough to give you the right choice. He, among anyone, knows what is best for us. 

Pray and ask for His wisdom so your decisions may not lead you to brokenness or harm.

Ask for a mature advice

Choosing your career and relationship could be very frustrating. In our early 20s, we must seek advice from someone mature enough, such as our pastors.

If you have a close relationship with your parents and think they could help you make a decision, then you could also ask them.

As long as you seek advice from the right people, they can help you choose. 

Think of the long-term impact of your decision

Try to go to your room and evaluate the long-term effects of your decision. Remember that your career opportunity could help you be more financially stable and independent.

It is very crucial to think about the future. Taking steps toward financial stability is very helpful for you and your partner to lessen your worries and stress if you decide to marry. 

You may choose to stay and struggle financially with your partner, eventually breaking up. Even married couples struggle with finances which could lead them to divorce. 

Life is so much more than having relationships in our 20s.

Talk to your partner

Make your partner understand your struggle in deciding, especially if the career opportunity is elsewhere. 

If your partner loves you, they are willing to risk a long-distance relationship to support you. 

On the other hand, if you do not need to go miles away and the career opportunity is just in the city with your partner, you could talk to them about your priorities. 

Moreover, if your partner is serious about the relationship, you could make adjustments to endure adulting life.