False Grace: Tullian Tchividjian starts new church - Divorce Minister
This is the same person who was caught cheating on his wife with a congregant and being removed from a prominent Presbyterian church over this moral failure (see here). He found another job with a church only to loose that when another sexually inappropriate relationship he engaged in even earlier than the first came to light (see here).
I find two things incredibly disturbing about this news:
First, he seems in denial in his situation as to how consent work in relationships where adults are on different plains of power.
This is especially disturbing coming from someone launching another church and taking the reigns of power there. An article in Religious News Service quotes Tchividjian saying this about the relationship he had with the congregant:
“I don’t care what role a person has, a consensual relationship between two adults is not abuse,” Tchividjian told The Palm Beach Post in August. “….I was not abusing my authoritative role to try and find women.”
A therapist or medical doctor cannot hide behind the understanding TT presented in that statement. It matters not whether he is trying to find women through his position. Sexual relationships between a medical provider and a client–especially while in their care–is illegal as I understand it (Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, and this is not legal advice).
In one sense, TT is right. A relationship between two consenting adults is not abuse. However, the problem is certain roles–like a therapist or pastor–make it impossible for there to be consent as the power differential changes things.
This blindness is not the only thing I find disturbing about TT launching another church. I am also disturbed by the false gospel TT is preaching.
Religious cheaters–like Tullian Tchividjian, in my opinion–wrap their sins in the cover of their religion as opposed to repenting of their sins. This I find extremely disturbing as it distorts what it means to be a Christian.
Here is something he said about being better equipped to lead this church:
“The Christian community is the only ‘recovery institution’ in society that does not want former ‘junkies’ leading the way,” he said. “That creates a massive disconnect between leadership and the people in the church.”
I do not think the problem is with the church not allowing “former ‘junkies'” leading the way. In my experience, I think the church loves the redemption and restoration stories these “junkies” have.
The real problem is that a junkie in active addiction is not someone to trust with a leadership position in a church.
TT is NOT in recovery. How do I know? Well, he denies that he abused his power as a pastor in engaging in an illicit relationship with a congregant. That is not honest. Without such honesty, he does not fit in the category of “former ‘junkie.'”
What is so dangerous about what TT says is how it trades on the truth to make everyone else look like they are the problem.
The truth is that the church needs to be the place for sinners to come…
…AND the rigorous truth is that the church needs to be the place where sinners learn to live holy lives forsaking their sins, too.
A cheater has no hope of forsaking his sin as long as he is unable to be honest with himself and others that it was sin. Such a dishonest person–refusing to confess his sins–is still stuck in his sin no matter what nice sounding “Christian” language he uses (see I John 1:9).
