Feast of Connection: Building Community Around the Table

The Art of Gathering Series

On a Friday night over the Fourth of July weekend, the sun is starting to set, and the table is filled with friends. Dipping crusty bread into honey whipped feta, eating cold grapes and creamy brie as we sip a glass of wine.

As a pastor’s kid, In one way or another, community has been a part of my entire life. Extended family, church afterglows, and pancake breakfasts. The 20’s group, where we gathered every Friday night to share a meal and read Life Together by Diedrich Boenhoeffer.

But this group of friends was where I fell in love with gathering people around the table. Through my times with them, I saw the value in expressing love and caring through preparing a meal. It is around the table with these friends over time, I experienced God’s grace. DeAnna and I would invite people to our apartment for dinner, where we honed our cooking skills. We experimented with new recipes, with friends who were more than happy to be our taste testers.

The quiet shame of my past melted away through the time spent with friends. The lies I believed, that if they knew me and who I had been in those years away from church, they would reject me, had kept me from being present and fully engaged. When I decided to trust God and allow people in, I saw how much God loved me. Their acceptance of me, messy parts and all, brought healing and hope.

Acts 2:46, says, “They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts.” Those early dinner parties planted the seeds for a lifelong passion to gather people around the table. It is where I saw the life-changing power a simple meal offers others.

“They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts.”
Acts 2:46

Sunday suppers began in the front house in Corona del Mar, a little sleepy beach town back then. We would invite people to join us as we gathered on the patio after church on Sunday. Sometimes everyone brought something, and other times, I’d try a new recipe from beloved cookbooks or the latest Food and Wine. We shared our dreams, celebrated birthdays, and traveled the world together.

Through these dinners, new outreach projects for our church were birthed, relationships formed, and dreams for the future shared. Many of us shared a passion for foster kids, which began my journey of serving in my local community. The shared experiences spurred us on with a heart to bring God’s love to teens desperate for hope.

It was a special time, one you hoped would last forever. But time and life go on. People move, families begin, and life goes on.

My friend Ali started a program for teen moms, a few years ago. Over 50 teenage moms gather together each week and start the evening by sitting around a table and sharing a meal. She intentionally built shared meals into the program. Ali and her team rely on volunteers to provide the dinners for nine months each year.

I had the opportunity to cook two of the meals for the girls. The first week, I served Baked Ziti and a big Caesar salad. The second week, I made a Barbecue Chicken Salad, and one of the girls walked out to my car to help me carry the trays of food. “Did you really cook all the food yourself?” she asked. I replied, “Yes, I love to cook, so it is fun to make meals for you.” She replied, “Well, we love to eat, so it’s a match made in heaven.”

Many of these girls come from homes where they have not experienced the pleasures of gathering together as a family for a meal. Eating a home-cooked meal with the leaders and other girls builds community and deepens relationships. The dinner is something that makes this ministry stand apart from other programs. Each month, they take time out to celebrate birthdays with cake and affirmation. The girl’s faces light up when it is their birthday. They don’t give material gifts to the girls, they give the gift of affirmation, taking turns to share the unique talents and qualities the volunteers have observed in each young mom. It is an emotional time because many of them have never experienced someone speaking affirming, life-giving words before. Words that breathe hope and the possibility of a new life into these young women’s lives.

Most Friday nights for the next 18 years, I made dinner with my niece and nephews. It started with baby food but morphed into chicken pot pie, cookie making, and many chicken nuggets.

In every home, everyone ends up in the kitchen. The kids would pull up the step stool to join me in preparing the meal and, of course, lick the spoon! I cherished those moments and saw how, over the years, it built a foundation for our relationship that continues to grow as they are now adults.

It was this part of my life that I missed, and longed for in the years I cared for my mom. I’d share at MOPS how to make mealtimes memorable, but the reality was very different. My meals were primarily eating alone or with my mom. My wall of cookbooks went unused, and our meals with the kids were the only time I looked forward to gathering around the table. I hosted small groups at Panera Bread or Drip Coffee, instead of my home, knowing it was for a season.

When Mom died suddenly last year, I cracked open that part of my life again. I hosted a group of women for a small group. I invited my friends to game night and dinner. We celebrated my friend’s birthday with a dinner party.

People long for that connection, I long for that connection, but it doesn’t always come easy. It requires pushing past my being lazy or comfortable and inviting others into my home. Hospitality is sometimes messy and each dinner takes on its own personality. It means being ok with a house that is in progress, opening a screen door to welcome them, that needs painting.

As we enter the holiday season, there is a great opportunity to invite others to join you and create new memories in the kitchen.

BBQ Chicken Salad Recipe

BBQ Chicken

4 chicken boneless skinless chicken breasts
Bottle of your favorite Barbecue Sauce

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Place the chicken in a baking dish. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Brush the barbecue sauce on the chicken breasts.

Bake 20-30 minutes, until chicken is cooked through. Cool and chop up the chicken. Coat it with 1/2 cup barbecue sauce and refrigerate until ready to mix in salad.

Garden Ranch Herb Dressing

1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
1/4 teaspoon cold water
3/4 cup mayonnaise
1 cup buttermilk
8 tablespoons sour cream
1/2 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1/2 tablespoon thinly-sliced scallion top, and whites
2 teaspoons minced garlic
2 teaspoons minced fresh Italian parsley
1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon minced fresh dill
1/4 teaspoon minced dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon minced fresh basil

In a mixing bowl, use a fork to stir together the mustard and cold water, forming a paste. Set aside for 10 minutes. Add the remaining dressing ingredients to the bowl and, using a handheld electric mixer at low speed or a whisk, blend together just until smooth, taking care not to incorporate too much air into the dressing. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate.

Salad

1/2 head iceberg lettuce (cored, rinsed and dried and cut into thin 1/8″ strips)
1/2 head romaine lettuce leaf (separated, trimmed, rinsed, dried, and cut thin strips)
12 large fresh basil leaves, cut 1/8-inch strips
2 cups shredded monterey jack cheese
1 cup canned black bean, rinsed drained
1 cup canned sweet white corn kernels, drained
3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
2 lbs fresh ripe tomatoes, cut into 1/2-inch dices
1/2 cup good-quality sweet-&-spicy barbecue sauce
1 cup tortilla strips

1/2 a cup of jicama

In a large mixing bowl, toss together the lettuces, basil, jicama, Monterey Jack cheese, beans, corn, cilantro, dressing, and half of the Fried Tortilla Strips. Transfer the salads to chilled serving plates. Surround each salad with diced tomatoes and the remaining Fried Tortilla Strips. Top each salad with chunks of BBQ Chicken and drizzle the chicken with the barbecue sauce. Garnish with the scallion.

With grace and light,

Cheri Liefeld’s passion is to help people gather, cook, and celebrate together. As a small group pastor, cooking school owner and former Betty Crocker blogger, she loves to inspire people to cook because something magical happens when we gather together and share a meal.
You can find connect with Cheri on her at adventuresinthekitchen.com
Make sure to connect with her on IG and/or on her Substack as well.

A Simple Charcuterie Guide

What a perfect time to start honing your charcuterie skills with the holidays here! I have just the right thing to help you feel ready and confident while you gather. I created this simple and beautiful charcuterie guide for you. In my opinion it’s cute enough to display and then it would always be available for you! Plus, I am always honored to offer you practical content for purposeful and life giving time around the table. Check it out by clicking on the graphic below!