Forever alone. — Peyton Garland
This is more than a boyfriend and girlfriend reality, and that’s where society, culture, our own circle has failed to let us in. Post-marriage, this battle still wages. Family and friends take on this season with uneasiness. No matter where we are, or what phase of life we finally reach, loneliness has a way of whispering its presence in the back of our minds.
With Josh’s piloting career, I face bouts of loneliness on the reg. Gone a few days here, a few weekends there. A week or two stretch, a four-month phase—they all feel the same. My living room gets quieter while my head grows louder. And when your head grows louder, you have to face the monsters that now refuse to collect dust in the corner of your closet.
That’s why I wrote Not So By Myself. Loneliness was winning while my mental health was declining. The world seemed grayer; my vision of God grew darker. Eventually, after forgetting to feed myself and losing too much weight, I knew that I had to regain grounding—but I was too weak to do that on my own. I needed good people and a great God to pull me through not one season of loneliness, but through the highs and lows of loneliness that will always want to win, no matter which life space I’m navigating.
Truth: there is no cure-all, easy fix for loneliness—with romance, friendship, work colleagues, church community, etc. Isolation is only combatted by imperfect effort, by choosing to believe in hope. These aren’t easy tasks, but they are possible when we start with vulnerability, when we call out the darkness, when we hold it to a light that, in all honesty, we might doubt.
If you’re tired, doubting, lonely, pissed, any and all of those things, just know that I’m here. My Contact tab holds true, my inbox remains open, my book is my raw and real story for you to find goodness when all feels lost.
Sending so much love to you today,
PG
Check out Not So By Myself, and meanwhile, let’s chitty chat about life and all.
Peyton Garland
Peyton Garland is an author who uses her OCD, disdain for legalism, and obsession with Jesus rap to showcase just how good God's goodness is. She's a wife and puppy momma who's on a constant journey to accept God's grace and her trial-and-error heart.
