God’s Empowering for Patient Mothering

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“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”  -- Ephesians 4:26

“Darcy, stop screaming!” I screamed. “You’ll wake up the baby.” 

My toddler daughter continued jumping up and down in a temper tantrum, demanding another cookie. I grabbed her shoulders and shook her, her head wobbling back and forth. Her face turned into a terrified grimace. 

After pushing her down onto the kitchen carpet, I stomped down the hall to my bedroom. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I prayed, “Oh, God, help me. Deliver me from my abusive anger. I don’t think I can take it much longer. I’m afraid I’m going to kill her in my next rage.”

Those were the cries of desperation over forty years ago which destroyed my hope that God was powerful enough to help me. But over time, He revealed the underlying reasons for my anger and empowered me to take control of my anger and become a patient mom.

At times we wonder how God will provide His power for our particular challenge. Here are four ways God shows us His power.

Through His Word. God demonstrates His power as He reveals truth to counteract the lies we believe. I believed all anger was sinful and I shouldn’t feel any kind of frustration.

When God directed me to Ephesians 4:26, I could see the truth: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” This verse convinced me God wanted to supply the power to deal with my anger instead of burying it.

Through Fellowship. Though deeply ashamed, God gave me the powerful courage to ask for prayer and accountability from the women in the neighborhood Bible study I led. James 5:16 commands us, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Through Exposure. Once I shared with that small group, I shared with many others, even though I risked rejection and judgement. Hebrews 10:20 urges us, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another.” The more I shared, the more powerfully God conquered the anger patterns within me.

Through Recognizing Perfectionism. My demand that God give me an instantaneous deliverance revealed my perfectionistic thinking. I couldn't believe God was being powerful unless all my sinful habits were gone. But Philippians 1:6 revealed the truth. "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus." By accepting God was working even though change was over a period of time I came to have hope in God's power. Little by little I became more patient and loving.

Now, years later, as I see my adult daughter love her family well, I’m amazed at God’s power which healed our family and developed ministry from disaster. He truly is powerful.

Questions for Reflection:

1. Does it seem like God is not powerful enough for whatever you are going through right now?

2. What is feeding the lies that God doesn’t want to help you? Maybe your past experiences? Or lack of reading your Bible?

3. Are the discouraging words of others creating doubt? Fight back with biblical truth.

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Kathy Collard Miller

Kathy Collard Miller is an award-winning, bestselling author of over 60 books including "Anger Management—Jesus Style" and "No More Anger: Hope for an Out-of-Control Mom". She writes Christian Living books, women’s Bible studies and Bible commentaries. She blogs and writes articles on trusting God more, God’s sovereignty, marriage, parenting, and knowing God in truth. Along with being interviewed on The 700 Club, Kathy has been featured on hundreds of podcasts, radio and television programs. Kathy has spoken in over 30 US states and 9 foreign countries at women’s retreats, writing conferences, MOPS, and marriage seminars. She often writes and speaks with her husband, Larry who she married in 1970. They have two children and two grandchildren, and live in Boise, Idaho. Kathy is a founding member of AWSA (Advanced Writers and Speakers Association) and is active in various writers groups like IdaHope Christian Writers and Christian women’s ministries like NEWIM (Network of Evangelical Women In Ministry). Connect with her at:
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