His Banner Over Me is Love — grateful, yet grieving

(Photo: Unsplash)

Don’t you love clouds? You see shapes in clouds all the time and it’s fun to figure out what they look like. I took a photograph of the clouds in the above picture on February 15, 2019. I was at work looking out my office window, on a slightly overcast day. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Who would believe it?! I quickly scrambled to grab my cell phone in hopes of capturing this unusual sight before it disappeared. There was no mistaking the cloud looked like a giant heart.

Earlier in the month, on the morning of February 4 (our shared birthday), my husband wasn’t feeling quite right and asked me to take him to the ER. I drove him to the hospital, and he was admitted. After running tests and having an angiogram procedure, we were told he was going to need heart bypass surgery. Not such a great birthday present. Although, the nursing staff kindly blessed him with a balloon and a cupcake.

The doctors wanted to schedule surgery right away, but my husband wanted to get some things in order first. After recuperating from the angiogram, we left the hospital three days later. It was just a week and a half later that I shot the photo. The scripture that came to mind was “…and his banner over me was love.” Song of Solomon 2:4 (ESV). I thought to myself we’re going to get through this.

We finally met with the surgeon and as he examined him, he thought he heard something. As a precaution, the doctor wanted him to see his cardiologist before surgery would be scheduled. Our appointment was on June 28. We were up early getting ready when I found him unresponsive on the couch. I called 911 and he was airlifted to the hospital. He stayed with us until that evening.

It’s approaching the four-year anniversary this coming June and as I look back, I see all that has been accomplished since that day. A memorial service, an estate sale, house improvements in preparation for it to be sold, and countless other small miracles. God’s grace and mercy ever-present. My family and friends went above & beyond praying, supporting, and giving of themselves to help me. I will be forever grateful.

I had the photo of the heart-shaped cloud made into a canvas print which I look at every day. I didn’t realize at the time the significance of it and what a gift it really was until after my husband passed away.

God knew what was coming long before I ever did. He literally “showed” me that He is always with me, loving me, watching over me, protecting me, and preparing my heart for things I can’t see. A reminder to always trust Him for all things. I am not alone for He is with me. We are each uniquely special to Him and He supplies us with all we need when we need it.

Isaiah 41:10 “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

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