Hope for the Weary

I recently came across a wonderful article on the Boundless webiste on ‘Hope for the Weary Single‘. I highly recommend giving it a read if you are interested in this topic or sending it to anyone you know that would be greatly encouraged by this.

I started to ponder on my current situation in light of this article. It can be very easy to sweep emotions and feelings under the rug and act like there is no desire to settle down or get married. If the pressure was intense before and the desire was growing, imagine being at a stage of life where your age mates and those around you seem to be settling down and getting married. Keyword being ‘seems’. Not that it’s not happening but our mind can exaggerate and highlight things to be greater than what is actually happening.

But, then again as the nature of life happens as the children of ’93-’99 are starting to mature. We are at the expected age to settle down, get married, purchase properties and building our homes.

Then you hear the whole notion of delighting yourself in the Lord and He’ll grant you the desire of your heart. I think to myself am I not delighting myself enough/ Or what is God trying to teach me during this season? Has my opportunity passed me by? What was I doing when my mates were getting into relationships, being found or building the right networks? O God of Israel, remember me!!

Dramatic much? Lol, but that’s truly how it be sometimes.

The absolute worst is when you start comparing yourself to those that God chooses to bless. Am I unlovable? What did they do and how did they work it out that they were able to locate the bone of their bone and flesh of their flesh and I’m out here bone-less (lmao).

I had always hoped and thought my love story would have been completed and perfected before I would ever have need to share anything on the internet about my love story. Yet here I am. Man makes plans and God laughs. Everything is done for His glory. #SoliDeoGloria

The goal was to share the beautiful testimony of how I waited well, trusted God fully and then He brought a wonderful, God-fearing man to find me, and we fell in love instantly. In fact, that is what I hoped would happen. Instead, the truth is the story has been filled with one situationship, a series of heartbreaks, disappointments, shame, frustrations and a horrible run of online dating. We have seen, we have travelled, and we have conquered. Now it is time to return to the place of safety as prisoner of hope.

Come back to the place of safety,
    all you prisoners who still have hope!
I promise this very day
    that I will repay two blessings for each of your troubles.

Zechariah 9:12 (NLT)

I truly believe that God has such a unique love story written for every single one of us. As long as marriage is in His plans for our lives, He will surely make it beautiful in its time and in a way that only God will get the ultimate glory.

And perhaps, marriage isn’t the thing you are hoping and trusting God for, either way our God wants us to stop striving to make things work out in our own strength. Rather, He wants us to return to Him, our place of safety, our strong tower and our resting place. To find the strength that we need for the journey ahead. We are limited in our understanding of things and have a limited scope of the future, but our heavenly Father is the I AM that I AM. Nothing catches him by surprise. It would do us much good to learn to rely on and trust in God.

Dear hoping single,

I won’t berate you with all the spiel about preparing well and understanding the meaning of marriage etc. Although, I trust you are taking those things seriously and actually actively taking the necessary steps to prepare well with the help of the Holy Spirit. God orders our steps intentionally and He has a way of preparing us. We must learn to yield and obey Him. What about the people that got married at 18, 20, or 22 years old. Would you say they were fully prepared? We cannot use those situations as our benchmarks but must learn to give ourselves grace. We can read all the books in the world, attend all the seminars and conferences and listen to all the relationship experts but it is God that determines the final result of our lives and our martial destiny. This is not an excuse for us to let go and not do what God is telling us to do to prepare.

Rather, we must be encouraged to keep building an intimate and genuine relationship with God. Those that are advising us are doing so on the merit of their experience. Based on the fact that they love us and want the best for us. The suggestion to go out here, connect with this person, get involved in this group or join this young adult church all comes from a place of love but we must check the intentions of our own hearts. Does this align with what the Holy Spirit is leading me to do in this current season?

Being able to recognize and identify the voice of the Holy Spirit amidst the hubbub of other well-intentioned voices is such a useful and important skill we just develop as maturing Christians. No one can hear God over our lives better than we can. Perhaps, this is the place we start to learn those skills. The bootcamp to prepare us for the future ahead of us.

Dear beloved, this life is not beans. It’s not a game. Entering into marriage is an assignment and a very serious one at that. We must truly spend time seeking God before going where they did not send us or where we are not equipped to go.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12 (NIV)

I pray that the moments where we start to feel hopeless or dejected that the comfort of the Most High will envelope us. That we will remember that we are wonderfully and fearfully made. That God is relentlessly pursuing after us even if man is not.

Lastly, I would like to call our attention once again to that ever-popular verse in Psalm 37 used for Christian singles and use a larger chunk of passage from that chapter.

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you your heart’s desires.

 Commit everything you do to the Lord.
    Trust him, and he will help you.

He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
    and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
    and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
    or fret about their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37: 4 – 7 (NLT)

I highly recommend you join this year’s October Hallelujah Challenge with Pastor Nathaniel Bassey. You can find out more information about it on his website and join the livestream on Youtube or Instagram (@nathanielblow)

#DiscipledbyChrist

Mo 🙂