How can I control what words from my mouth?

Our mouth is mighty. It has the power to kill and give life to others. Sometimes we have good intentions, but the way we put them into words makes them harmful to us and hurtful to others. 

The majority of women suffer from not having control over their mouths. It feels like their tongue has a life of its own and keeps on going. 

We can talk too much, often say painful words, lie, and even exaggerate the truth. 

Moreover, we sometimes say flattering words, among many other things. 

God uses our mouths to become a channel of blessings for others. But, honestly, we still stumble in many ways. 

When I cannot control what comes out of my mouth, it hurts people I love and even my Lord. 

How can I control my mouth

However, one of the beauties of God’s grace is that He understands our weaknesses. We do not have to run away from Him because we cannot control our words. 

Instead, the more we draw closer to Him, the more His words will help us change our words.

God’s grace and mercy are so unique that we have the chance to change so we can obey Him freely.

Here are some helpful ways for us to control our mouths.

Pause and think

Most of the time, we are in danger if we do not think before we speak. If we are overwhelmed with our feelings, we tend to let them all out without thinking about the result. 

For instance, if we are so mad about what others did, we just burst all our anger out, even to the point that we already judge the person. 

Nevertheless, when we learn to pause and breathe, we give ourselves room to analyze the situation and choose the words that will come out. 

Thus, we can avoid destroying ourselves through our mouths and preserve our relationships with others.

Proverbs 13:3 says, “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.”

Choose to bless, not curse

Through our tongues, we can bless or curse others. But we must always be a blessing through our words instead of cursing them. 

As we fight the battles in our minds, we should speak about life instead of death. If we want to pursue God’s favor, we should discipline our mouths. 

James 3:8-10 says that no one can tame the tongue.

It is a restless evil full of deadly poison. With our mouths, we bless our God and Heavenly Father and curse others who are made in the likeness of God.

Yet, James noted that we should not allow ourselves to bless and curse others through our mouths simultaneously. We cannot say we love the Lord and talk badly about others.

Be intentional

Just like achieving our goals, controlling our tongues requires discipline. We should be intentional in everything we say. 

Also, we need to develop the habit of speaking the truth until it becomes a part of us. 

Proverbs 12:19 says, “Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.”

More so, if you want to develop a mouth pleasing to the Lord, you must avoid gossip. 

It may seem impossible for us to prevent it in this fallen world, but everything is possible for those who are intentional. 

If someone talks to you about someone, you do not have to make harsh comments and try to divert the topic. 

Then, do not pass on what you have heard to others. In this way, you could stop the gossip from passing through others.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helps build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” - Ephesians 4:29

Evaluate your heart

Our mouth reveals what is in our hearts, so we must evaluate our hearts. The words that come out of our mouths reflect what we feel. We must get rid of anger or hatred to speak life to others. 

If you still have not forgiven others, you must ask the Lord to help you forgive so it will not make you bitter. 

Matthew 12:34 says, “How can you speak good when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

Seek for wisdom

You can tell a woman’s character by her choice of words. God will teach us when and how to speak as we devote time to Him righteously. 

He would give us the wisdom to say the right words to protect us from harm and, in the same way, protect our relationships with others. 

Sometimes, because we are so emotional about our situations, we cannot think of the right words to say or even if it is the right time and place to tell them.

However, with God’s help, we can be wise in what comes out of our mouths. The more we allow ourselves to know God’s words, the more we can imitate His character, and God is the god of wisdom.

Moreover, people will admire and respect you if you speak with wisdom.

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he with a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” (Proverbs 17:27-28)

Filter your words

Practice speaking gracefully to your husband and children, even if you are not used to it. Try your best to talk nicely at home, so you can also do it when you go outside. 

Doing this may be very challenging, especially if you are tired of doing all your chores and taking care of your children.

Just keep on trying, and you will see progress every day. You may fail sometimes; however, those who succeed do not give up when they fall.

Remember that you are not perfect, so do not lose hope when you fail. Try again and learn from your mistakes. 

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” - Colossians 4:6

Control your emotion

Our emotions are sometimes deceitful; if we cannot handle them well, they will control our whole being, including our words. 

It takes courage to control our emotions, especially when we are hurt.

However, now that we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, He has given us the power to overcome evil with good. 

Also, the Holy Spirit dwells in us, so the fruit of gentleness must be in us. 

It takes time and effort to control our emotions and burst out of anger because God knows that even if our spirit is willing, our body is weak. 

Yet, you do not have to do it alone. God will be with you and will lead you.

As women of God, we must speak with wisdom and kindness. (Proverbs 31:26) 

On the contrary, men should also learn to speak nicely to their spouses. If a husband wants respect from his wife, he has to honor her through his words, no matter how bad he feels.

Commit everyday

We can never be perfect at controlling our mouths. However, the more we commit ourselves to change and are intentional about being a blessing through our words, the more we can do it. 

We always have to fill our hearts and minds with God’s words so they can come out of our mouths.

More importantly, the Lord sees your effort. He is not blind to your sacrifices to pursue His will and commands. God promises to be with you, so never give up on trying.