How to get over Mother's Day grief

If a wife lost her husband, we call them a widow. But, we do not have a word if a mother loses her child.

They say it is because no one could define the pain of a mother’s grief for her child.

When we celebrate Mother’s Day, we expect kids to give presents to their moms.

It is a fantastic day to recognize their sacrifices for their children. 

What if the child you expect to greet you and celebrate with you went back home to heaven already?

Mother’s Day is another unique celebration reminding them of their pain. It is like another wave in the ocean that triggers their emotion. 

Every Day is Mother’s Day

Yet, I believe that once you have a child, every day is a Mother’s Day for you. Being a mother is endless. You are still a mom from the day your child is born, even after they died.

However, mother’s grief is a lifetime journey. Studies show that following the loss of a loved one, nearly 10% of people learned to endure grief.

In contrast, more than 94% of parents carry enduring suffering for their lost child for the rest of their lives.

For mothers who have lost a child are specifically vulnerable to grief no matter how many years have passed.

My mother suffers daily for her longingness for our eldest brother, who died during the COVID-19 pandemic.

It was a very traumatic experience for a mother to bury her son.

He was her firstborn and the first person to let her experience the beauty and challenges of motherhood.

My brother went to heaven at 28 years.

They say that a mother loses an adult child, she loses a child, a friend, and a supporter. 

Still, no matter how hard it is for her to live,  she must endure the pain daily because she still has to live for her other children, her husband, and God.

Common Reactions Towards Grief

There are some typical responses to grief, and it is normal. There is still a denial stage that your child is gone.

It seems impossible to get out of bed because you are so consumed with sadness and despair. 

Some mothers even feel guilty and disappointed as they fail to protect their children. They might think that they could have done things differently. 

Others may feel mad and bitter about life. They could feel like life is meaningless and wish to ease the pain by joining their child. 

Christians would end up asking God and losing their faith in him.

Although these are typical responses of a mother who loses their child, God’s grace, love, and embrace could make it possible for them to move on and continue living.

Ways to Get Over Mother’s Day Grief

For someone who grieves, getting over means acceptance rather than forgetting what happened.

Because you can never ignore your most painful experience, it changes everything, and life would never be the same without our loved ones. 

People may have different ways of responding to grief. Some might want to be alone, and others want to talk to someone about their pain. 

Regardless of your coping process, you can still have hope and do something for you to move forward and see the beauty of life.

Here are some ways to get over grief.

Embrace Pain

Do not deny the fact that you are hurting because the more you run away from experiencing the pain, the more it will be difficult for you to cope.

It is normal to be sad, to feel lonely, and to cry in times of grief. 

Stop being hard on yourself and let your heart and soul feel the pain. There is a season for everything.

The Bible acknowledges the time to mourn in Ecclesiastes 3:4.

If you need to be alone this Mother’s Day to avoid seeing children giving gifts to their mothers, then go ahead.

You can isolate yourself from social media since many people post about motherhood.

Besides, you can visit any Christian coffee shop if you are a coffee lover and have time alone.

Avoid Being Bitter

As a mom suffering from longingness, it is acceptable to embrace the pain but not allow your pain to make you hate people and the world.

Our pain is not an excuse to hurt others and could only cause you harm.

The Bible says in Hebrews 12:15 that we should not let any root of bitterness springs up because it could result in trouble.

Many people would love to celebrate this special occasion this Mother’s Day, and there is nothing wrong with that.

They do not have to stop their world just because they are hurting. 

In as much as possible, avoid bitterness.

Allow God’s Comfort

You might be disappointed with God for not hearing your prayer for letting your child have more time with you.

However, no one could ever give you the comfort He could provide. No one would ever understand the pain of losing your beloved child more than Him. 

He lost His Son, Jesus Christ, for you and your child to be reunited with Him again. He understands you more than anyone else.

Being in God’s arms amidst our grief is incomparable to what the world could offer. 

Psalms 34:18 says that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit. 

Jesus said you just have to come to Him if you are weary and burdened, and He would give you rest, as stated in Matthew 11:28.

Hope in Lord

God gives you peace and hopes that you will unite with your child someday. Life here on earth is temporary, and so is your suffering. 

Mother’s Day is just a part of your pain, but soon, you will have plenty of time to celebrate with your child in God’s paradise.

The time will come when you will be reunited with your child; the best part is that it will be forever with God.

1 Thessalonians 4:17 says that we who are alive will be caught up “together” with those who have fallen asleep in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.

We will always be with them with the Lord. This wonderful promise of God could give you the hope and joy to continue living.

Spend Time with Your Family

Before you become a mother, you are a wife; if you still have other children, use your time to be with them.

Now that you realize how uncertain and short life is do not waste a moment to express your love to your family.

If you do not want to stay alone this Mother’s Day, plan activities with your other kids or spend a date with your husband.

It could be a helpful distraction for you not to think of your grief.

Off all people, you know how valuable time is because that is what you wish to have for your child.

You still have other family members rooting for you and need you to be there for them. 

Though it is difficult as a mother, we have to choose to live for them.

Time is precious, so do not waste a day living with pain but enjoy it with the people you dearly love.

Remember that your child in heaven wants you to live the best life you could have with the people who are also valuable to him.