How to help someone with anxiety: Being a supportive friend

Helping someone with anxiety is important, and you can do it! Anxiety is not just about being a bit worried. It's a big deal for some people and can make everyday life hard. It's not the same for everyone, so knowing that what works for one person might not work for another is good.

First, know that anxiety is more than just feeling nervous. It can feel like a big wave of worry that doesn't go away. People with anxiety might feel scared or have a hard time dealing with daily tasks. Your job as a friend is to be there for them. It's like being a steady hand in a stormy sea. You don't have to fix everything, but being there is a huge help.

Recognizing Signs of Anxiety in Friends

When you are learning how to help someone with anxiety, it is crucial to start by recognizing the signs. Anxiety often shows itself in ways that you might not expect. Your friend might always seem worried or tense. They are often restless or seem tired more often than not. These are some of the more obvious signs, but there are subtler ones too.

Your friend might avoid certain places or situations. They might have trouble concentrating or seem irritable over small things. Sometimes, they might talk about feeling overwhelmed or helpless. Physical signs like headaches, muscle tension, or stomach troubles are also common. Remember, everyone experiences anxiety differently, so these signs can vary.

Distinguishing Between Normal Worry and Anxiety Disorders

It is important to understand the difference between usual worries and anxiety disorders. Normal worry is a part of life. We all fret about work, family, or significant life changes. However, when these worries become constant and interfere with daily life, it might be an anxiety disorder.

An anxiety disorder is more than just feeling stressed before a big event. It is an ongoing feeling of fear or dread that does not go away, even when the stressful situation is over. If your friend seems to be worried all the time, or if their worry appears out of proportion to the situation, it might be a sign of an anxiety disorder.

Read more: Strengthening your faith to combat friendship anxiety

Approaching Your Friend

If you think your friend is struggling with anxiety, knowing how to approach them is important. First, choose a good time and place. You want somewhere private and comfortable. Be gentle and respectful in your approach. You might start by saying you have noticed changes in their behavior and are concerned.

It is important to let them know you are there to listen. Encourage them to share their feelings, but only push if they are ready. Be patient and understanding. Show them that you care and you are willing to support them in whatever way they need.

Listening Without Judgment

The most important thing you can do is listen. When your friend opens up about their anxiety, give them your full attention. Do not interrupt or rush them. Avoid advising unless they ask for it. Sometimes, just being there and listening is more helpful than you might think.

Avoid saying things like, "Do not worry about it," or "You will be fine." Although well-intentioned, these phrases can make your friend feel like their feelings are invalid. Instead, acknowledge their feelings. Let them know it is okay to feel anxious and you are there to support them.

Encouraging Professional Help

If your friend's anxiety seems severe, you might suggest seeking professional help. Remind them there is no shame in getting help from a therapist or counselor. These professionals can provide more specialized support and treatment options.

You can offer to help them find a therapist or go with them to their first appointment. But remember, the decision to seek professional help is ultimately theirs. You can provide information and support but not force them to get help.

Recognizing the signs of anxiety in your friends is the first step in learning how to help someone with anxiety. Be observant, understanding, and patient. Remember, you are not a professional, but your support can significantly impact your friend's life. Being there for them, listening without judgment, and encouraging professional help when necessary can be incredibly helpful.

Maintaining Boundaries and Self-Care

When you set out to learn how to help someone with anxiety, it becomes crucial to recognize your own limits. You have a heart full of compassion, and you want to be there for your friend in every way possible. But remember, you are a friend, not a professional therapist. Acknowledge that there are aspects of anxiety that might be beyond your understanding or ability to help.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries is not about pushing your friend away but maintaining a healthy relationship. It is okay to say, "I am here for you, but I cannot talk late at night," or "I can listen, but I might not have all the answers." This honesty helps both you and your friend. It keeps you from feeling overwhelmed and communicates to your friend that your support has limits, which is normal and healthy.

Encouraging Professional Help

Sometimes, the best way to help someone with anxiety is to encourage them to seek professional help. It is a sign of strength, not weakness, when you say, "I think it might be helpful to talk to someone trained to help with these feelings." This encourages your friend to get the support they need while also taking some pressure off you.

Balancing Support and Personal Well-Being

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Caring for someone with anxiety can be emotionally draining. It is important to balance your desire to help with taking care of your own mental health. Make time for activities that you enjoy and that relax you. This is not being selfish; it is ensuring that you are in an excellent place to offer support.

Learning to Let Go

Understand that you cannot control your friend's anxiety or their choices in dealing with it. You can offer support, love, and guidance, but at the end of the day, they are their own person with their own journey. Learning to let go is not giving up on them but acknowledging that everyone must walk their own path.

The Power of Compassionate Support

Remember the power of compassionate support in your quest to learn how to help someone with anxiety. It is about being present, listening, and offering love and understanding. You are doing something precious by being a supportive friend. Just make sure to take care of yourself as well.