How to love yourself while being selfless?

Promoting self-love has been a trend since the emergence of social media. People are becoming more aware of how to love and care for themselves. 

However, one of the disadvantages of this trend is that we tend to become more focused on ourselves. 

We may not be aware that we are being too selfish with what we think we deserve rather than what God desires.

Moreover, there could be a lot of reasons why you have lost your love for yourself. You may have given it all to someone who hurt you. 

Also, you may have been a victim of others’ criticism and lost your self-esteem.

God wants us to love and care for ourselves because He created us fearfully and wonderfully. 

However, to be like Jesus Christ, we must learn to be selfless while loving ourselves.

Is that possible?

Yes, God does not forbid us to love ourselves. His words tell us that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, so we must take care of it. 

Still, everything that goes beyond boundaries is not good. 

Thus, we can still obey God’s command to love Him with all our hearts and souls while loving ourselves simultaneously.

What does it mean to be selfless

Being selfless is one of the most essential characteristics of every Christian. Jesus Christ commanded us to love our neighbor as ourselves (Mark 12:31).

Thus, God does not want us to unlove ourselves while loving others. It is impossible to offer genuine love without knowing how to love ourselves. 

Additionally, when Jesus Christ had His earthly ministry, He taught about selflessness. 

In His Sermon on the Mount, he emphasized that being selfless is more than just helping others, serving your spouse, and caring for the sick. 

Jesus Christ noted that selflessness is about loving our enemies and praying for those who have hurt us. Besides, He said that being selfless is not easy.

Sometimes, we become unaware that we are losing our love for ourselves while valuing others, especially those who have caused us so much pain.

So, how can we preserve our love for ourselves while being selfless?

How to not be selfish despite self-love

Jesus Christ is our model for caring for ourselves while being selfless toward others’ needs. 

He has a healthy well-being to care for those in need and sick. Thus, love is never selfish.

Here are some ways for you to not be selfish while loving yourself.

Prioritize your spiritual life

“A joyful heart is a good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” - Proverbs 17:22

It is difficult to love yourself if you have a crushed spirit. You can only find the healing you are longing for in the presence of God. 

When we devote our time to the Lord, He will restore us and make us realize our worth. 

Jesus Christ loves to spend time with our Heavenly Father. Before He starts His day, He goes to a quiet place where He can talk and listen to God. 

In this way, we are filling our hearts with God’s unfailing love, so we can also express that kind of love to ourselves.

In addition, having a more vital and closer connection with our Creator will help us understand our purpose clearly. 

It would be easier for you to love yourself and what He loves.

Focus on your “Why”

You need to love yourself before you can be proud of others. But you need to love yourself because you love our Creator. 

God designed you perfectly through His love, and caring for our well-being shows that we value Him and His works.

When you realize your worth in Jesus Christ, you will have no difficulty accepting yourself and being compassionate toward your flaws. 

More importantly, God’s love for you is more than enough reason for you to love yourself. If you are filled with His love, it will be easier for you to show compassion to others. 

Do not feel guilty

Sometimes, Satan will use our guilty feelings when we do things for ourselves. 

However, we should not feel guilty about spending time alone to take a break from everything we do. 

For instance, moms feel guilty about doing something for themselves and think they are irresponsible when they treat themselves. 

Yet, God appreciates our sacrifices and how we selflessly give our time and effort to our loved ones and other people.

Loving ourselves is like adding fuel to the tank of a car to make it move. 

So, why should we be guilty about it? Get a cup of coffee at your favorite cafe, or do your hobby occasionally.

Do not get tired of doing good

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” - Galatians 6:9

You may wonder why we must do good for others to love ourselves. 

Jesus Christ does love himself, but He is not focused on himself alone. He is focused on fulfilling His purpose for our Heavenly Father.

Doing good to others is part of our purpose because we are created in God’s image. 

God is love; therefore, we need to express that love toward others regardless of whether they are good to us. 

Moreover, loving yourself does not mean all your attention is for your own benefit alone. 

People who help others are more fulfilled and satisfied with their lives because they feel they are fulfilling their purpose.

Although doing good to others could be tiring, remember that God will let us reap our rewards when we do not give up.

Stop doubting yourself

Be confident that you are capable of achieving your goals. Loving yourself means trusting in your God-given talents and wisdom. 

It is difficult for us to be selfless like Jesus Christ if we question our identity. 

Satan will use our doubts to steal us from doing our purpose. He would put negative thoughts in our minds, and if we do not know who we are, it is easy for him to destroy us. 

You are precious. gifted in the eye of God, our Creator. No one knows us better than the one who created us. 

For example, when God told Moses that He had chosen him to lead His people out of Egypt, Moses doubted why God had chosen him despite his weakness in speaking. (Exodus 3:1-22)

He even asked God, Who is he that he should go to Pharaoh and bring the people of Israel out of Egypt? (Exodus 3:11)

God assured Moses that He would be with Him as he obeyed Him. The same is true for us. 

God will never leave or forsake us when He asks us to do something for Him and His people. Thus, we should not question our capabilities. 

He would not entrust something to us if He knew we could not do it.

Be open to teachings and disciplines

You must be open to corrections and discipline to love yourself in God’s way. Satan is deceiving the world into thinking we should love ourselves selfishly. 

So, we need to be teachable so we will know that we are loving ourselves according to God’s ways.

Moreover, being open to teachings and disciplines from God’s words and His appointed people means we are humble and not self-righteous.

We need God’s guidance to show us how to love ourselves without hurting or dominating others.

Be better than yesterday

Focus on what you do best and improve your weaknesses. You have not competed with anyone but yourself in the past. 

Do not compare yourself to others; compare yourself to who you were in the past.

You should choose to be a better version of yourself than before. 

You may have committed mistakes in the past, but that should not stop you from improving yourself. 

Remember that you are a work in progress, and God’s grace is sufficient for us to start again daily.