How to put Jesus first in your life as a married couple

God is pleased when you know how to put Jesus first in your life as a married couple. Image: Phillip Goldsberry|Unsplash

Problems arise when you don’t know how to put Jesus first in your life as a married couple. As it is, marriage is fast becoming a far cry from its biblical foundation.

Divorcé is now legal and widespread in many countries—the grounds and reasons contradicting the Word of God. Many people value the pursuit of greater comfort and more possessions that pushes away God.

Some countries enforce penalties if you have more children than legally allowed. Others give incentives if you have no or fewer children. These notions are a significant departure from the holy intent of God regarding matrimony,

The false sense of self-entitlement and pursuit of ungodly pleasure mock God and the pious intention of marriage. As a result, failed marriages and broken families occur more rapidly. Sadly, many view these consequences as ordinary and seemingly acceptable aspects of our modern society.

The purposes of marriage

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” – Genesis 2:18

After God created Adam in the Garden of Eden, He decided that Adam need not live alone. The pivotal verse in the book of Genesis indicates the creation of marriage and the beginning of human relationships.

The Scriptures show God Himself recognized the need for companionship and saw it was not good for Adam to be alone. God not only created marriage for companionship but also for procreation and redemption. 

The term helper in Hebrew is “ezer,” which means a complementary or partner. This term does not imply inferiority or subservience but highlights Adam’s mutual partnership and support with his future spouse. 

In other words, the woman is not created to serve the man but to be his counterpart, equal, and helper in subduing the Garden of Eden and the Earth. 

The pains of divorce

Divorce can be a painful and emotional process for both parties involved and any children who may be affected. According to the CDC National Center for Health Statistics, there were 1,985,072 marriages and 689,308 divorces in 2021.

In the Bible, divorce is only allowed because of sexual immorality. Any reasons beyond this ground are considered adultery, a grievous sin. It is sad and disheartening that divorce has been implemented for reasons beyond the biblical truth.

Some of the expected consequences of divorce include:

Emotional and mental trauma

Divorce can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

Financial problems

Divorce, with legal fees, property division, and alimony payments, can be costly. This matter can lead to financial strain, especially for the spouse who is not the primary breadwinner.

Custody battles

The involvement of children makes custody battles emotionally draining and expensive.

Loss of social support

Divorce can lead to losing social support, as friends and family may take sides or distance them.

The Broken Family Syndrome

When your family fails to know how to put Jesus first in your life, brokenness occurs. The broken family syndrome is the adverse effects of a family unit’s breakdown. This disorder can occur due to divorce, separation, or other circumstances that lead to family structure changes.

Psychiatrist and psychotherapist Frank Anderson, MD, states, “A broken family is one that includes unhealthy or severed relationships within the family unit. They are often associated with divorce but certainly can occur in an intact family where various members are in conflict with or estranged from each other.” 

The effects can be physical, emotional, and social. Children from broken families may experience adverse effects such as depression, anxiety, poor academic performance, and behavior problems. They may feel abandoned, rejected, or unloved, leading to low self-esteem and difficulty forming healthy relationships in the future.

Parents may also experience negative effects such as financial strain, loneliness, and stress. They may struggle with the challenges of parenting alone, such as making important decisions and balancing work and family responsibilities.

Ways how to put Jesus first in your life

Pray together

Praying with your spouse is the best way of putting God into your marriage. Matthew 18:20 reads: “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Prayer is the most effective communication and fellowship with God. When the couple bows down in prayer, they acknowledge and admit that their union depends on God’s will and guidance.

Including other members in prayer during meal times or other distinct moments is also ideal. If you know how to put Jesus first in your life, the grace and authority of God flow throughout the whole household.

Conduct a Bible and devotional study

The Bible is the source of God’s truth. 2 Timothy 3:16 says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” When the couple studies and examines the Scriptures, they will learn God’s will and gather guidance.

Holding a regular devotional study also enhances our married lives.

Attend church services together

Going to church, especially with our spouse and other family members, solidifies our bond with the Creator and the church community. Hebrews 10:25 reads: “Not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

In church, we garner a holy fellowship with other church members. Our brethren also become our friends with whom we can share our hopes, aspirations, pains, struggles, and victories.

Fulfill your role

Because of the changing cultural and social landscape, the biblical role of husband and spouse are distorted in many instances. But, the Bible clearly states the exact roles the couple should fulfill in the marriage relationship. 

Ephesians 5:21-25 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Both husband and wife foster greater love and harmony when they adhere to their biblical roles.

The sanctity of marriage

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24

The sanctity of marriage has taken a different turn. It is saddening to know that 37.6% of all marriages in the US end in divorce.

People trample the sanctity of marriage as the Bible only allows divorce due to sexual immorality. Married couples resort to divorce because they get tired of each other, disagree on financial matters, want to spend more time on work, or just want to have a new adventure with another partner.

These troubled couples do not exert any effort anymore to preserve their marriage. Because of the prevailing loose cultural and legal stature, they resort to divorce like any other simple undertaking or activity like walking in the park.

People refuse or fail to invite God and know how to put Jesus first in your life to restore or strengthen your union. In other words, you are not putting Jesus into the center of your lives.

Being of one flesh is the holy aim and discourse of marriage. It should not be difficult to comprehend that God bound them together in Spirit beyond the physical relationship between husbands.

The Lord tremendously grieves when this sanctified bond is broken for reasons contrary to His will.

When you fail to know how to put Jesus first in your life, the Holy Spirit laments.

God tells us to be model Christian fathers and mothers and bear children that believe in His Name. Walking together with Christ, especially with our families, pleases God. We also fulfill our intrinsic role of fulfilling the Great Commission: making disciples to all men at all ends of the Earth.

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