Humble and Confident (This is Like Jesus) - Bravester

Let’s start off with a giggle at yourself. This is a quote from a Christianity Today article about humility:

“We all know we shouldn’t text as we drive. Or more precisely, we all know other people shouldn’t text as they drive. As for me, I’m exceptionally cautious, just sending off a few words to keep life moving. Plus, my texts aren’t a real problem since I’m an excellent driver.

“It turns out that 93 percent of us in the United States believe we are above-average drivers—a conclusion that defies the very notion of what average means. Likewise, most of us perceive ourselves to be above average in intelligence, friendship, marriage, parenting, leadership, social skills, work ethic, and managing money. As a college professor, I might guess myself to be immune from this sort of normative overestimation, and that guess would be wrong. Almost 9 out of 10 college professors believe themselves to be above-average teachers.

“We live in a Keilloresque Wobegon world where “all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.” To admit being average at anything—or worse yet, to call someone else average—seems shocking these days. But while it may come as no surprise to Christians commanded to “be completely humble” (Eph. 4:2), it turns out that humility is really good for us. It just took the science a while to prove it.”

Maybe we are not as great as we think we are. (This is okay for the good of you and the world. See below.)

One of the scientifically-proven qualities of humility is humble people have a reasonably accurate view of themselves, neither too high nor too low. Having self-awareness allows us to actively craft our life rather than passively react to the world around us.

This sounds like a way to make brave decisions.

Humility is actually pretty hard to understand what it really is. It doesn’t help that humility is a virtue we don’t see too much in our culture or in the headlines. I want to live humbly but in my desire to live humbly am I also being proud?

Pride actually isn’t the opposite of humility. Humility requires a healthy sense of self that springs from security and enoughness. The opposite of humility is arrogance or conceit or hubris. It is a superior view on oneself in which others are viewed as inferior and entitlement reigns supreme. (Because only you are an excellent driver.)

Science has revealed that true, authentic humility is a secure openness to the world, where we can be honest with ourselves and others about our strength and limitations, seeking to learn new perspectives and caring deeply about those around us. It is approaching the world around us with a sense of enoughness.

Humility involves accurate self-awareness, making generous assumptions about others, being teachable, and having confidence.

The confidence of knowing that you are a person of inherent worth and value frees you up from the relentless and futile pursuit of external validation that drives so much arrogant and narcissistic behavior.

Humility is not an indication of weakness but a marker of strength. 

Humility actually requires confidence. We are back to our tendency to overestimate our abilities and behaviors. In order to see yourselves how you really are, you have to be humble. To be humble like this, you have to have confidence.

People without humility are usually not confident. You find them spewing stuff they want to believe and stuff they want you to believe, overselling themselves hoping you will give them some sort of affirmation so they may actually believe what they are saying. (People who aren’t humble suck the life out of conversations.)

You can’t be humble without self-awareness which comes from confidence. You need to recognize who you are and who you paying attention to.

I love this Bryan Stevenson quote about his brave work at Equal Justice Initiative: 

“Knowing that I can be wrong, make mistakes, or miss things is important to maintaining humility about what I do. I work with a lot of people who suffer terrible injustice. People who have been wrongly convicted of crimes, people facing extreme punishment, people coping with violence and abuse, people who are impoverished and struggling with food insecurity or basic deprivations. The people I serve make me appreciate that I can’t overestimate my capacity to solve problems, which is humbling.” https://brenebrown.com/articles/2024/01/23/bryan-stevenson

Humble people care about people in newer and deeper ways, with generous assumptions, and ways that actually help. Humble people find genuine joy in the success of others. Humble people also find themselves entering into the pain and sorrow of others. To be Jesus-centered is to center others, to see Jesus in the face of everyone you meet. Black theology has long asserted that Jesus is black because of his identification as marginalized and oppressed. Jesus is not a power-over kind of savior. He is power-under. Jesus always made space for others.

Back to the Christianity Today article:

“Humility research was stymied for a time because of the challenges with having people self-report how humble they are. But several research labs have discovered better ways to assess humility, typically involving a combination of self-reporting and reports from knowledgeable peers and family members. Researchers have developed scales to measure intellectual humility, relational humility, and cultural humility. Some are working on spiritual humility as well.

“As with forgiveness and gratitude (other positive psychology research projects with great success), humility fosters physical, mental, and relational health. Humble people are more grateful and forgiving, so they enjoy the benefits of those virtues. They are also more generous and helpful than others, have better romantic relationships, have less anxiety about death, and experience less spiritual struggle. They perform better at school and work, show more compassion to others, and even have better self-esteem than less humble people.”

Let me list why humility is scientifically proven to be good for you and for the world:

Physical, mental and relational health
More grateful
More forgiving
More generous
More helpful
Better romantic relationships
Less anxiety about death
Less spiritual struggle
Perform better at school and work
Show more compassion
Better self esteem

More science:  People who regularly experience awe are rated more humbler by others, and awe leads people to behave more humbly.

From a scientist:  When thinking like a scientist, “You favor humility over pride and curiosity over conviction. You look for reasons why you might be wrong, not just reasons why you must be right.” –Adam Grant, https://scienceforthechurch.org/2021/08/03/unforced-rhythms-of-grace-finding-rest-as-summer-comes-to-a-close

Humble people also laugh a lot.

So more humility all around please. Especially with these news headlines.