I’m Positive I’m Negative

Not something that I want to be– so let me explain.

I am a creature of habit.
I like routine.
I am most comfortable when living a calm, simple life.

While this is certainly a peaceful way to live and a worthy goal to be attained, it is also an illusion to think that it is sustainable. The confession I am making here is that this desire, while admirable, can become prideful if my focus is only on me. What seems like peace on the outside can easily turn to turmoil on the inside. The battle of the mind begins and the lack of control is evident when I start fighting for peace. Soon the battle consumes me instead of peace.

When I let my expectations of a peaceful, simple life control my emotions, it can become quite the opposite.

Tumultuous even. 

Life isn’t always easy, or calm, or comfortable, is it?   

When the unexpected happens or life just gets in the way of your plans, the battle of the mind begins:

“This isn’t how that was supposed to go.”
“Okay, I’ve got this.”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen this way!”  
"Now what am I going to do?"  
“I can fix this.”
“Life is not fair!”

It’s a dangerous game we play when we think that our finite minds can clearly articulate exactly how our day—or our life should turn out.

“A person’s heart plans his way,
but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

While consistency and simplicity are good things, they can quickly turn to an all-too-comfortable place that might just keep us from what God wants for us. Those little “interruptions”?  God knows.  He sees right where you are and if He allowed it, He just might want to teach you something in the process…

Patience, maybe? Kindness? Certainly. Flexibility? Probably! (ouch!)

What if the path God has chosen is meant to lead us to obedience? Of course it is. Always. Or to demonstrate a compassionate spirit that is so desperately needed in our day? Doesn’t willingly surrendering our plans reveal a servant’s heart? What might that look like if our attitude matched our actions? We would begin to look a little more like Jesus!

Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus,who, existing in the form of God,
did not consider equality with God
as something to be exploited.
 Instead he emptied himself
by assuming the form of a servant,
taking on the likeness of humanity.
And when he had come as a man,
 he humbled himself by becoming obedient
to the point of death—
even to death on a cross. Philippians 2:5-8

Humility? Ok, Lord.  I get it.

Often the very qualities that we say we desire will come at a price.  While we may want these very godly characteristics, we tend to cringe at the process it might take for us to get there.  

I don’t want to be a negative person—truly I do not.  So when my routine is interrupted I find myself in a battle of the wills…as in, 

“Will I allow my life to be interrupted by God?”

“Will I allow my attitude to be one of surrender?”

“Will I choose the high road and keep my focus on what God might want to do rather than complaining about what I wanted to do or what I thought my day was supposed to look like?”

Elisabeth Elliot, in her book Be Still My Soul, Reflections on Living the Christian Life, said it this way, 

Simple Obedience… “Sometimes we get grandiose ideas for schemes we’d love to accomplish for God. Once in a great while, they are truly God’s will. Most of the time, however, His will for us is to do the humble and down-to-earth thing, something for which nobody will ever thank us.”

If I’m not careful, I can be guilty of false obedience.  While it may look like I am walking by faith, there is always the danger of going through the motions on the outside while allowing my emotions to brew on the inside–and when my heart doesn’t match my actions and I fall into a negative mindset—it is blatant disobedience.

Just saying the words, “Thy will be done” doesn’t mean you are surrendering to God’s will–until your heart—and your actions line up with what you are saying.  

I am positive that God’s will is good and right and best.  When negativity creeps in, think of it as a warning sign and beware of the danger ahead! Negativity always leads to negative consequences.  

… and I’m positive I don’t want to be negative!