Is repentance about earning forgiveness? No. - Divorce Minister
Peter’s words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, “Brothers, what should we do?”
Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”
-Acts 2:37-38, NLT
Is requiring cheaters to repent before talk of true forgiveness a matter of telling them to earn forgiveness?
I do not see that as the case here in Acts 2. The Apostle Peter is not telling the Jews to “earn” Jesus’ forgiveness by repenting. It is more about “turning” to receive this forgiveness. They have to stop denying Jesus.
Cheaters need to stop denying what they did is wrong as well.
This is why I maintain forgiveness for cheaters really only takes place when repentance is in evidence. Someone who continues the harmful lie–i.e. they did nothing wrong–is not eligible for true forgiveness anymore than those fellow Jews in Apostle Peter’s day if they claimed they did nothing wrong.
That said, I do NOT recommend faithful spouses hold out for that day of repentance to make progress in their own healing.
Give the offender over to God and move on is my suggestion. God is better positioned to deal with the matter than us. He is good, just, and wise.
Handing over a cheater to God may be the furthest we get in the forgiveness process with the offender as many offenders never repent. All we can do is leave the door open to forgiveness provided the cheater repents (see Luke 17:3).
A cheater does NOT earn forgiveness by repenting anymore than I earn a gift by receiving it.
You have to admit you have something needing forgiving in order to receive forgiveness, after all.
Many cheaters are loathed to acknowledge this debt to their faithful partners. They would rather change the subject or blame the other for their sin than take the first step by acknowledging their need for forgiveness; yet they are the ones who are loosing out on this precious gift.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
