Live in but not sleeping together

A couple staring at a house. (Photo by Kindel Media from Pexels)

Can Christians live together under the same roof without sleeping together? Is that possible? 

Now that living together outside marriage is common, can Christians adapt to the norm? 

If we want to honor God in every aspect of our lives, we must be open to His teachings and corrections. We must use our energy to make excuses and defend our wrongdoings.

Knowing what the Bible says about living together outside marriage is not to condemn or judge you as a Christian.

Nevertheless, it is a way for us to expose how God disciplines His people, who He loves dearly.

Hebrews 12:6 says, “Because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Remember that whenever we are being rebuked for something we are doing, it is always because of God’s love and not for you to be condemned.

More importantly, He wants you not to be tempted and allow evil to use any possible opportunities to steal you from Him.

We need to be humble enough to accept our weaknesses and shortcomings for us to continue to have a Christ-centered life.

Why can we not live without sleeping together

Most Christians and church leaders would not advise you and your partner to live together outside marriage regardless of any reason.

Here are some reasons why.

Close to temptation

A man and woman appear to be having fun. (Photo by Ketur Subiyanto from Pexels)

Even though we say we would not sleep together when we live under the same roof, it would be challenging to resist temptation, especially living alone.

You are in a relationship and want to express intimacy with each other.

Once you are in that situation, you will struggle to resist temptations. God cannot help you not to give in to sin because you have already disobeyed Him in the first place to prevent you from being in that position. 

Ephesians 5:1-3, Apostle Paul, reminded people that as they follow God’s example and walk in the way of love just like Jesus loved us, we must not be regarded as sexually immoral or impure.

Although the apostle is about married couples, particularly not committing adultery, living together and having sexual activities outside marriage is considered against purity.

Tempting God

A couple having an intimate date at home. (Photo by Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels)

When you have decided to live with your partner and pray to God for you not to give in to the temptations of having sexual activities, then you are tempting God. It is a sin against Him.

Deuteronomy 6:16 says, “Do not put the Lord your God to the test,” which means do not ask God for help to fight your temptation when you have already put yourself in that situation. 

Jesus Christ emphasized this Scripture in Matthew 4:7

Stumbling block to others

A sweet couple looking out the window. (Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels)

Even if nothing is truly happening inside the house but people know that you are in a relationship.

Also, you are living together could cause other people’s disappointment. We cannot blame their malicious minds since we live in a corrupted world. 

Instead of trying to find reasons, let us be humble enough to admit that we could hinder others from knowing God. 

There could be two possible situations that might occur. First, people might think that you are hypocrites. Both believe in Christ but live together.

They might believe that you claim to be a Christian but sin without caring for others.

You are destroying your image and, most significantly, degrading Jesus’ image, who you are trying to represent. 

Second, some people new to their faith or even unbelievers may think living together is wrong.

Yet, since they see you doing it and know you are a Christian, they may conclude that living in is not bad, so they could also do it. 

1 Corinthians 8:12 says, “When you sin against others in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.”

Struggling with purity

A couple seems to be dancing. (Photo by Andres Ayrton from Pexels)

You might not have any problems living at all with your partner for reasons like saving money. Still, research shows that the person you are trying to live with, particularly men, would find it so difficult to control himself. 

When you continue to live together, you prolong his struggle not to sin against God and become pure. You are becoming a “stumbling block” to your partner without you knowing. 

God will sustain your needs if that is your concern of why you want to live together. He would even bless you and your relationship when you walk in righteousness and attract His favor.

Satan can intervene

A woman kissing the neck of the man. (Photo by Cottonbro Studio from Pexels)

Satan prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour, so we must be alert and sober, according to 1 Peter 5:8.

Your intentions of living together might be for the good of each of you, such as his apartment is nearer to your office, or you are saving money for your future marriage. 

However, Satan can use your situation to cause you to sin and be far from God. He steals, kills, and destroys God’s people and purpose.

When you choose to live together with your partner, Satan will have a lot of opportunities to manipulate you and give in to sin. 

Proverbs 1:10 says, “If sinful men entice you, do not give in to them.” Resisting is so much more challenging when you stay under one roof. 

Causing you self-damage

A couple appears to be having an argument. (Photo by Timur Weber from Pexels)

When you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, he gave you a price for being clean and white as the snow. You are no longer a slave of your sins. 

However, when you decide to live with your partner, you are not putting yourself at risk of being damaged again.

As followers of Jesus Christ, God has saved us and called us to honor him by how we use our bodies. Being involved in sexual impurity does not praise God. 

1 Corinthians 6;18-20 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body.” 

It added, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.”

The Holy Spirit dwells in us when we accept Jesus Christ, and as His temple, we should not cause damaging activities like premarital sex to destroy us.

Do not flirt with immoral behavior and flee from it.

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Jepryll Torremoro

I am God's daughter who wanted to proclaim His goodness through writing. I believe that I am called to write for His glory. I am a Pastor's wife and has been serving in the ministry since I was young. As a writer, I want to share how God sustains me in my motherhood and in my marriage. Also, I want to discover more about Jesus and how I could be more like Him. Writing has become a platform for me to strengthen my faith and at the same time share it to others. It is my passion to serve God through maximizing my gift in writing.