Love Relearned

Photo by Taylor Flowe on Unsplash

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. -- I John 4:7-8 (NLT)

“I want to know what love is” are words echoed in a popular song from my youth. If you remember the song, you know the singer is wrestling to define love, understand how to find it, and allow himself the risk of loving again.

As that first line of the refrain repeats itself in my brain, the answer seems clear—God is love. A fruit of the Spirit is love. (Galatians 5:22) Love is patient and kind. (I Corinthians 13) Love covers over a multitude of sins. (I Peter 4:8) Perfect love casts out fear. (I John 4:18)

Scripture addresses love in almost 800 verses. It gives us examples of perfect love, which is God’s love for us. And it gives us examples of what love is not. It is not jealous or prideful. It is not self-seeking or irritable.

While teaching a particularly challenging 4th grade class, I had an aha moment about love. I had a deep love for my students. From day one, they embedded themselves in my heart. But man, this group was squirrely! They left me exasperated more days than not. On my way home from school, I prayed, “Lord, I love my students. If love is patient and kind and not easily irritated, why am I so frustrated.”

The answer was very convicting. “Because you are loving them with imperfect love,” The Holy Spirit seemed to whisper. “You can only love them with the love that comes from God.”

When we try to love in our own power, we quickly grow weary and frustrated. But when we depend on the boundless love of God, we are sustained, strengthened and equipped to love beyond our limits.

I began to see my students in a different light. They were not a bunch of renegades. They were precious, individual gifts the Lord had placed in my life to love and teach. They may have been a bit of refining fire for me. But as I looked at the little girl bent on tipping her desk and giving me the stink eye, I saw a child who needed to know that I would love her even when she tested the boundaries. I saw an impetuous child as one who needed compassion when he was heartbroken over the class pet frog meeting an untimely end.

I realized that without the guidance of God’s love in my life, I was powerless to love the way I was intended to. And this is true in every relationship and with every kind of love, whether it is my students, my own children, spouse or neighbor.

This is where transformation begins—not in trying harder, but in surrendering our hearts to the One who is Love.

God’s love has the power to change even the hardest hearts and the most broken lives. “So, all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.” (2 Corinthians 3:18, NLT )

When we are transformed, we become more like Him, and He is the very definition of love.

Questions for Reflection:

1. Do you wrestle with loving the way God intended? Ask Him to love through you. He will give you a new heart.

2. How can you change your view of someone you are having a hard time loving?