Making a Difference in the Life of Just One Person
Another epidemic is upon us. It’s not another virus. It’s loneliness. The World Health Organization has labeled loneliness as a serious health threat.
I get mildly amused by those commercials touting the latest prescription medication. They’re required to list the potential side effects, and often the side effects sound worse than the ailment they’re hoping to treat. Of course, those side effects may only affect a tiny percentage of people, but still … yeesh, for some of these, I think I’ll stick with the ailment.
Loneliness also has harmful side effects, but these side effects are not limited to a small number of people. Lonely people are all prone to these.
- High blood pressure
- Inability to sleep
- Increased stress-hormone levels
- Increased susceptibility to infections
- Immune-system dysfunction
- Depression
- Cardiovascular disease
- Dementias
- Death [Source]
This is serious indeed.
Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Alone time—solitude—can be good and beneficial, but loneliness captures more the idea that a person is unsatisfied with their social relationships (or the lack of them). A lonely person can be in a crowd of people—even people he knows—but feel lonely and isolated.
Where are these lonely or socially isolated people? They are all around you—even in your church.
“But that’s not the case at my church! We are a very friendly and outgoing church!”
Is it? Is it really?
For too many of us involved in church, we perceive the church as a friendly place simply because people are friendly toward us. But not everyone sees that or experiences it.
Believer, you need to take the initiative to reach out to the lonely and socially isolated among us. You must take the initiative. It’s really not hard, but we need to get over ourselves, our pride, our own circle of friends, and engage in conversation with others. You don’t even have to go far. So many of these people are sitting on the next pew.
How do you spot a lonely person? It’s easy to spot a person sitting by herself, but it can also be the woman sitting next to her husband and three kids. Find the person you don’t know or the person sitting alone and just talk to them. Don’t assume he’s sitting alone because he doesn’t want to talk.
“I wouldn’t know what to say.”
Ask questions. It’s not a quiz or an interview, but simply ask some questions in an effort to get to know the other person.
- “Are you new here?”
- “How long have you lived here?
- “What type of work do you do?
I’ve found their answer to a broad, generic question easily leads to other questions to ask.
Keep the focus on the individual. Your attention helps them feel seen and valued. Your words and conversation can be an incredible encouragement.
You cannot use the excuse that you are an introvert. Nope. Introverts do not get a pass. I am an introvert (really!), but I’ve learned to set aside my inward or self-focused tendencies to talk to someone else.
This is the church being the church. We are commanded to encourage one another (Heb. 10:24-25), and God wants you to do just that. The beauty is that, in reaching out to talk and encourage someone, you will in turn experience encouragement.
And you need that too.
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Related posts
- The Ache for Friendship
- The Silent Killer in the Church Pew: Loneliness
- Seeing Loneliness as an Opportunity
For a printable version: click here.
This post supports the study “Doing Life Together in Christ” in Bible Studies for Life and YOU.
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