Managing anger: How to calm down in the heat of your emotions
In life, there are moments when anger simmers beneath the surface, threatening to boil over. Perhaps you have found yourself in scenarios where managing anger appears elusive. In turn, it may manifest in ways that affect those around you, straining and fracturing relationships. Or, there are times when this internal fire turns inward, scorching your own well-being and peace of mind.
As a Christian, you understand the importance of mastering your emotions. You recognize the need to align your actions with the principles you hold dear, such as love, patience, and forgiveness.
To help you, this article will explore practical steps to help you regain control when anger threatens to consume you.
Being angry is okay
Feeling anger is a natural part of the human experience, and you are not exempt from this emotion. Even Jesus, the epitome of compassion and grace, expressed anger on several occasions.
Mark 3:4
In Mark 3:4, you encounter a moment when Jesus, in a synagogue. There, he confronts a situation that stirs righteous anger within him. He observes those around him but does not find them responding with compassion or understanding.
In this place of worship, there is a man with a withered hand, seeking healing and hope. However, the Pharisees, driven by legalistic views, watch to see if Jesus will heal on the Sabbath. Despite their silent scrutiny, Jesus calls the man forward. Then, he poses a question to those present: "Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save life or to kill?"
Furthermore, as the silence hangs in the air, Jesus looks upon them with a mix of sorrow and anger. This is because their hearts seem hardened to the plight of the suffering man. In this moment, Jesus's anger is a response to the lack of compassion and the rigid adherence to rules that overshadow the genuine needs of those seeking healing and grace.
John 2, Matthew 21, and Mark 11
In John 2, Matthew 21, and Mark 11, you witness instances where Jesus displays a righteous anger, addressing issues that deeply concern him.
In the Gospel of John, during a wedding in Cana, Jesus overturns tables and drives out money changers from the temple. He expresses his displeasure at the misuse of a sacred space for personal gain. This act signifies his intolerance for the commercialization of worship.
Moving to Matthew 21 and Mark 11, you find another moment of Jesus' anger. In both accounts, Jesus enters Jerusalem and sees the Temple being misused as a marketplace. Witnessing this blatant disregard for the sanctity of the place of worship, he overturns tables once again, rebuking those who have turned a holy space into a den of thieves. Jesus's anger here is directed at the exploitation of the sacred for personal profit. It reinforces the importance of reverence and true devotion.
These instances of Jesus expressing anger highlight his commitment to maintaining the purity and sanctity of places dedicated to worship, condemning practices that prioritize material gain over spiritual reverence.
Mark 10:14-16
In Mark 10:14-16, you encounter a touching scene where people bring children to Jesus, seeking his blessing. The disciples, perhaps misunderstanding, rebuke those bringing the little ones. They thought Jesus would not have time for them.
Witnessing this, Jesus becomes indignant and says,
"Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God."
He emphasizes the significance of childlike faith and warmly embraces the children, placing his hands on them and blessing them. In this instance, Jesus's anger arises from the disciples' misunderstanding of the importance of children in the realm of faith. So, he uses the moment to teach the profound value of childlike trust and innocence in the kingdom of God.
How to manage your anger in its heat
Anger, in itself, is not sinful; it is a natural emotion that everyone experiences. The key lies in understanding that it is the actions that stem from uncontrolled rage which can lead you down a destructive path. When anger is left unchecked and allowed to dictate your behavior, it can result in harmful consequences.
That being said, here are ways in managing anger.
Step back and breath to stay calm
To manage anger effectively, take a deliberate step back and focus on your breath to regain calmness. When emotions run high, the simple act of stepping away from the situation can create the mental space needed to think more clearly. As you step back, take intentional deep breaths, inhaling slowly and exhaling gradually. This conscious breathing helps to center your thoughts and soothe the intense emotions that anger may bring.
Ask yourself what are you angry about
Ask yourself a crucial question: What are you truly angry about? Identifying the root cause of your anger is essential in addressing and resolving the emotion. Reflect on the specific incident or situation that triggered your anger, and try to understand the deeper feelings or frustrations beneath the surface. By gaining clarity on the source of your anger, you empower yourself to address the underlying issues, allowing for a more constructive response.
Say a short prayer
When anger flares within you, take a moment to say a short prayer. Ask for patience, understanding, and wisdom, inviting a spiritual perspective into the situation. This simple act connects you to a higher purpose and allows you to seek guidance in navigating your emotions.
Express your anger in healthy ways
Following the prayer, focus on expressing your anger in healthy ways, such as through open communication. Instead of letting anger fester internally, share your feelings with others involved in the situation. Use clear and assertive language to communicate your emotions, ensuring that your message is understood. Honest and respectful communication not only allows you to release pent-up emotions but also opens the door for a constructive dialogue that can lead to resolution.
Think of solutions
As you express your anger, channel your energy toward finding practical ways to address the underlying issues. Consider alternative perspectives and brainstorm possible solutions that align with your values and the well-being of all involved.
Forgive as God forgives
In managing anger, embrace the powerful step of forgiving as God forgives. Recognize that harboring resentment only prolongs the grip of anger on your heart. Instead, choose to extend the grace that God provides by forgiving those who have caused you anger or pain. This step is not about condoning wrongdoing but about releasing the burden of anger and embracing the freedom that forgiveness brings.
Do not seek revenge
Retaliation perpetuates a cycle of negativity and does not lead to true resolution. By refraining from seeking revenge, you break the cycle of anger and retaliation, choosing a higher path guided by principles of grace and mercy.
Consult your loved ones regarding your emotions and course of actions
When grappling with anger, take the important step of consulting your loved ones regarding your emotions and course of actions. Share your feelings openly with those you trust, as they can provide valuable perspectives and support.
Seek professional help
Recognize the significance of seeking professional help. If your anger persists or becomes overwhelming, do not hesitate to consult with a mental health professional. They possess the expertise to help you navigate and manage complex emotions, providing tools and strategies tailored to your specific situation.
Be like Jesus
You, like Jesus, are permitted to feel anger; it is a natural human emotion. However, it is crucial not to let this negative emotion take control of your life and relationships. Just as Jesus expressed anger but did not let it lead him down a destructive path, you too can manage anger based on Christian principles.
By following the example set by Jesus, you demonstrate a commitment to maintaining peace, love, and grace in your interactions with others, even in the face of challenging emotions.
More from Crossmap:
Feeling empty: Steps to regaining your sense of purpose
