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Kathy Collard Miller
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Questions to Ask Yourself When a Friend Disappoints You

Questions to Ask Yourself When a Friend Disappoints You

We have all been there. Our friend reacts toward us and we feel disappointed, defensive, confused, angry, or misunderstood. What should we do?

Most of the time, the most godly reaction is to do nothing and ask ourselves some questions in order to evaluate why her reaction bothers us so much.

The truth is, her reaction may not actually require us to feel disappointed, defensive, confused, angry or misunderstood. Many times we want to react in those ways because we are taking the reaction personally as if it’s about us. It may not be at all.

In addition, our reaction is our own choice regardless of how hurtful or mean her reaction may be. It’s actually possible in the Holy Spirit’s power to react in a godly way to the most ungodly reaction we could ever receive.

Stuart Briscoe once said, “Temptation is not only an opportunity to do the wrong thing, but an opportunity to do the right.”
Here are some questions to evaluate your heart condition. Ask yourself these soul questions. #friendship #disappoint #friend #love https://bit.ly/40Z1JbY Click To Tweet

Here are some questions to evaluate your heart condition. Ask yourself these soul questions:

  1. Why is this so hard for me to accept?
  2. What does her reaction say about me?
  3. Why am I thinking she reacts like that to me?
  4. When she responds like that, how do I feel about myself?
  5. What do I value about her friendship that I don’t want to lose?
  6. If I lost her friendship, what would it seem to say about my worth and value?
  7. What do I want most for her?
  8. Do I think she is rejecting what I think she needs?
  9. What do I think she thinks of me?
  10. What do I want to avoid in this situation?
  11. Do I think I can accurately know her heart and her motives?
  12. In what way am I assuming I know correctly the reaction she wants from me?

Well, that’s quite a mouthful, eh? Not everything may be applicable to you but I hope it will bring out some insights into how you’re feeling and how you are interpreting her behavior.

My passion is to help you see that your worth and value is only determined by the love and acceptance of your holy Heavenly Father, not the comments of another human.

Let me know if any of these ideas are useful for you.

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Kathy Collard Miller

Kathy Collard Miller is an award-winning, bestselling author of over 60 books including "Anger Management—Jesus Style" and "No More Anger: Hope for an Out-of-Control Mom". She writes Christian Living books, women’s Bible studies and Bible commentaries. She blogs and writes articles on trusting God more, God’s sovereignty, marriage, parenting, and knowing God in truth. Along with being interviewed on The 700 Club, Kathy has been featured on hundreds of podcasts, radio and television programs. Kathy has spoken in over 30 US states and 9 foreign countries at women’s retreats, writing conferences, MOPS, and marriage seminars. She often writes and speaks with her husband, Larry who she married in 1970. They have two children and two grandchildren, and live in Boise, Idaho. Kathy is a founding member of AWSA (Advanced Writers and Speakers Association) and is active in various writers groups like IdaHope Christian Writers and Christian women’s ministries like NEWIM (Network of Evangelical Women In Ministry). Connect with her at: www.KathyCollardMiller.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/KathyCollardMillerAuthor Twitter: @KathyCMiller Pinterest/Kathyspeak YouTube.com/@kathycollardmiller13 Instagram: @kathycollardmiller Amazon author page: https://www.amazon.com/Kathy-Collard-Miller/e/B001KMI10S?

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