Restoring the Wife’s Heart – Who Are You?
Restoring the Wife’s Heart; Taking up the Mantle of Jael is my book for wives who want to heal from sexual sin in their marriage. The book includes assignments to be worked over 10 weeks with another woman, or in a group setting. Our Wife’s Heart 10 Week Course, which is led by Sandy England, uses Restoring the Wife’s Heart.
What follows is an assignment from RTWH that, although written for women, has something for everyone.
Who are You? Revisited
Chapter 20, From Restoring the Wife’s Heart
“For all our talk of “freedom in Christ,” Christians today are nearly as trapped by the world and our own flesh as anyone else. Anxiety, addictions, burnout, failure, disappointments—is this what Jesus meant for us to inherit when He offered us peace? When He attracted us to the life of a Christian, saying, “You will know the truth and the truth will make you free”? Have we found the truth that sets us free? We need more than right Christian doctrine. We need to actually experience freedom from within . . . freedom from destructiveness toward others and ourselves; freedom from sin, which turns us against God and men.”
—David Hazard
Today, read Ephesians 1.
We’ve looked at your God-given identity as His beloved daughter and taking up the mantle of Jael, a fighter for her people. According to Ephesians 1, you are given every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, all your sins are forgiven, you received the Holy Spirit when you accepted Christ, and He has lavished His grace on you. And that’s just the blessings from one chapter.
Let’s do a heart check today.
What is your identity? There are no heady, doctrine-heavy answers or quoting of verses allowed here. In your heart, who do you believe you are? Do you believe you are the wife of a sex addict and all the shame, condemnation, and wreckage that comes packaged with it? That false identity doesn’t line up with who God says you are, no matter what your husband has done.
Is your identity a “mother,” taking care of and nurturing your children? That is what you do, not who you are. After your kids grow up and move away, then what? Accepting and believing who God says you are can be like receiving a gift of a new, clean garment and choosing to put it on. The old, soiled clothing has to come off before we put the new clothes on.
Have you made the exchange? Even if your husband were to stumble and fall repeatedly and you lost your marriage (hopefully not), could you still say that you are God’s beloved daughter? Do you know that He hears and answers every prayer? Have you learned that He is speaking to you and wants your heart?
Many Christians quote the verses but haven’t bought into the truth. I can say that with confidence because this is the case with most of the men and women I’ve counseled. I’ve struggled with it myself.
The crazy thing is that there have been instances when God showered me with His love right after I’d blown it and confessed my sin to Him. He has a habit of giving grace to the brokenhearted who are torn up about their failures.
Are you wearing that new, sparkling white robe of truth, or are you still clinging to the old one? Some of you have deeply damaged hearts. Perhaps the trauma of what has happened in your marriage has Trojan-horsed your heart with so much pain and discouragement that putting on the new garment of righteousness seems out of reach for you.
It’s not, and God is standing before you, offering it.
Today, discuss with your group and/or prayer partner where your heart is with accepting God’s grace, forgiveness, and love.
What is the Lord saying to you today?
For information on the book, see: https://www.blazinggrace.org/store/books/restoring-the-wifes-heart/
For information on the Wife’s Heart 10 Week Course, go to:
https://www.blazinggrace.org/wives-support-group-porn-adultery/
Or contact us.
