Should we wait for the right one



The quest for the right one often feels like a journey filled with hope and uncertainty. We all have our notions of who 'The Right One' might be, a person who fits our dreams and complements our own quirks and qualities. Personally, I think the weight of such a decision: Is waiting for this ideal partner truly the path I should go?

Defining 'the right one' can be as varied as the individuals seeking them. For some, it's a soulmate; for others, a partner who shares similar goals and aspirations. My reflection on the subject often leads me to consider the countless stories I've heard, ones of serendipitous meetings and of relationships that blossomed from the most unexpected encounters.

Our culture, too, plays its part, bombarding us with tales of love that suggest there's a perfect someone for everyone out there. It's a concept that's been romanticized in books, movies, and songs, but it's one that also holds a deep resonance with many on a personal level.

The benefits of waiting for 'the right one'

So, we've all heard that age-old advice: "Wait for 'the right one.'" But what does this mean in practice, and why might it be a wise choice?

First off, waiting for the right one allows for a foundation of compatibility and shared values to be established. This is more than just having common interests, like both enjoying the latest binge-worthy TV show. It's about the deep stuff—the values and dreams that shape who we are. 

For me, waiting meant I could really think about what was important in my life and look for someone who shared those priorities. And let's be honest, in dating, it's easy to get sidetracked by surface-level connections without digging deeper.



Secondly, there's the aspect of timing. My own journey taught me that timing can be just as important as the person. Waiting for the right one often means giving yourself the time you need to grow and be ready for a serious relationship. I found that the moments I was single were invaluable for personal development. They were the times I learned the most about myself—what I wanted out of life and out of a partner.

And let's talk about past relationships for a moment. They're like those "practice runs" we all need. Every relationship and every encounter teaches us a lesson. By taking the time to reflect on these experiences, we prepare ourselves for the right one. When we rush from one relationship to another, we might miss these lessons and the opportunity to make better choices in the future.

Now, I know what some of you might be thinking: "But isn't waiting around just a waste of time?" It's a valid question. Here's the thing—waiting isn't about putting your life on hold. It's about living your life to the fullest so that when the right one does come along, you're the best version of yourself. It's about not settling. And nowadays, where everything is instant, there's something to be said for the anticipation and readiness that comes from waiting.

Lastly, there's the issue of learning to be happy on your own. This is a big one. In my experience, being content with your own company sets a solid stage for any future relationship. It means you're not looking for someone to fill a void but rather to share in your already full and satisfying life.

So, to sum it up, the benefits of waiting for the right one are pretty clear. It's about establishing a solid foundation, understanding the importance of timing, learning from the past, and being happy in your own skin. It's not always easy, and there will be times when you'll wonder if it's worth it. But in my book, the best things in life are worth waiting for. And the right one? Well, that's up there with the best of them.

The challenges of holding out for the right one

In searching for that special person, many of us struggle with the decision of whether to wait for the right one or to embrace relationships that may not seem perfect. I’ve found this to be a journey strewn with challenges, some that have tested my patience and others that have left me second-guessing my choices.

Discovering societal pressures is perhaps the most palpable challenge. When friends pair off, marry, and start families, it’s hard not to feel the tug to do the same. Moreover, society often has a timeline for love, encouraging us to settle down by a certain age. 

It’s almost as if the world looks at a single person with a mix of curiosity and pity, wondering why they haven't found 'the right one' yet. Holding out for the right one in this context feels not just like a personal choice but a rebellion against a societal norm.

Moreover, during my own journey, I've faced moments of doubt and loneliness that can be overwhelming. Sometimes, it seems as if the certainty of a good-enough relationship now is better than the possibility of a perfect one later. Holidays, weddings, and even simple dinner dates can underscore the solitude of the wait. It is in these moments that the concept of the right one can feel less like a destined meeting and more like a fanciful notion.



Balancing idealism with realism also presents a tricky “dichotomy.” "On one hand, I desire to await a connection that brings joy, fosters growth, and offers a deep understanding. On the other hand, I recognize that no person is without flaws, and waiting for a fairytale romance could mean waiting forever. This balance requires a constant check-in with oneself: am I being selective, or am I being unrealistic?

To show these challenges more clearly, here’s a list that often runs through my mind:

Societal Expectations: Am I out of step with the natural progression of life?

Loneliness: Is the wait for 'the right one' worth these stretches of solitude?

Doubt: What if 'the right one' doesn't exist, or I've already missed them?

Realism vs. Idealism: At what point does holding out for the perfect match become an unrealistic expectation?

Personal Growth: How do I ensure I’m growing as an individual and not just waiting?

In reflecting on these challenges, I often return to the notion that the journey itself is of value. It's in this time of waiting that I've discovered much about myself – what I truly value, what I can compromise on, and what is non-negotiable. This self-knowledge is, I believe, crucial in recognizing the right one when they do come along.

So, while the challenges are real and sometimes deeply felt, there is also a profound growth that comes from facing them. It’s not always easy, and there are no guarantees in love or in life. Yet, the decision to wait for the right one remains a deeply personal choice – one that each of us must make based on our values, experiences, and beliefs about love.

Making a personal choice on waiting for the right one

In wrapping up this contemplation on whether to wait for the right one, I stand at a crossroads that many of us face. On one hand, the idea of waiting for that perfect match – the right one – feels like a chapter from a romantic novel we'd all love to live out. On the other hand, life is not a storybook, and the wait can be a journey filled with its own twists and turns.

Let me be clear, I believe firmly that making a personal choice in the matter is crucial. It's not about what your best friend thinks or what seems to be the trend on social media. It's about what resonates with you in the deepest parts of your heart and mind.

For some, the concept of the right one acts as a North Star, guiding them through the dating world's chaos. For others, it's a more fluid concept shaped by experiences and personal growth.

Here are some thoughts to consider:

Timing is a key player – it's rarely perfect, and often, the right one might come along when you least expect it.

Embrace personal growth – whether you're waiting or not, investing in yourself is never a wasted effort.

Compatibility and shared values matter – if waiting means finding someone who aligns with your core beliefs, it might be worth the time.

In conclusion, the decision to wait for 'the right one' is deeply personal. It's not simply black or white, right or wrong. It's about what fits the narrative of your life and what aligns with your values. With this, I encourage you to do the same. Reflect on your experiences, consider what you truly want, and let that guide you. Whether or not the wait is worth it is a chapter of your story that only you can write.

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    Kathleen Orenza

    My faith in the Christian Church has been an integral part of who I am. From a young age, I was taught the significance of the sacraments, the beauty of prayer, and the guiding principles of love and compassion. Through the years, my faith matured, and I sought deeper connections with my beliefs. With Crossmap, it has reinforced my devotion to the Christian faith and allowed me to play a small role in spreading the love and teachings of Christ in the digital age.

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