St Joseph: Defender of the Family and Model Relationship Partner - The DV Walking Wounded
It’s Christmas Eve and I wanted to send a message about what an awesome man Joseph, husband of Mary and Stepfather to Jesus, truly was — in his time period and now!
Mary was betrothed to Joseph, who revered her piousness. To me, this shows respect — this man respected her and was honored that he was chosen to be her husband. All relationships should start with respect. Even though initial perceptions change, the respect should always be there.
Mary must have respected him as well, as she proceeded to tell him that she was with child. In a mortal’s eyes, it would look like she had been unfaithful to Joseph. During that time, during an engagement the woman had to be chaste, so her current condition would be considered adultery, punishable by stoning to death and shame and shunning on her family. Joseph, being a very fair and righteous man, reacted at first to this perceived disappointment. However, wanting to do what was right, he made up his mind to divorce her quietly, without calling attention to her condition or perceived indiscretion. Once God had seen his plan, He spoke to Joseph in a dream (Matthew 1:18-25):
While he was still debating with himself about what to do, he fell asleep and had a supernatural dream. An angel from the Lord appeared to him and said, “Joseph, descendant of David, don’t hesitate to take Mary into your home as your wife, because the power of the Holy Spirit has conceived a child in her womb.
Joseph awoke and took Mary as his wife, not having intimate relations with her, until after the birth of Jesus, as they did have more children together. I feel like this shows, not only Joseph’s devotion to God, but his renewed and strengthened respect for Mary. I felt like this strengthened his love for her, as he had to refrain from sex, had to care for her and protect her and her Child, as well as project an outward appearance that everything was normal.
Joseph would have to be the one that prepared the hardest for Jesus’ birth. He had to provide for his growing Family as a carpenter, he had to comply with the mandate of the census (which was highly inconvenient at this time, as his wife was due to give birth soon), he had to secure the donkey, he had to walk for the entirety of the journey, and he had to secure them shelter. In 2020, Gordon College (gordon.edu) published 5 Things You Didn’t Know About the Christmas Story, and published astonishing facts that were taken for for granted by readers of the Bible:
If the current hypothesis among biblical scholars stands—that is a four-day journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem—Mary and Joseph would have had to travel about 90 miles in four days, averaging a 2.5-mph pace for roughly eight hours a day
If the current hypothesis among biblical scholars stands—that is a four-day journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem—Mary and Joseph would have had to travel about 90 miles in four days, averaging a 2.5-mph pace for roughly eight hours a day.
– https://stories.gordon.edu/5-things-you-didnt-know-about-the-christmas-story/
So, Joseph is an Ironman triathlete AND a master negotiator! I admire his tenacity! Especially, I admire the fact that he did NOT take “no” for an answer and was set on securing a place for his bride to give birth. Only a righteous man would do those things for his family, whom he loved — disappointing God aside!
It was also customary at that time for men to have NOTHING to do with the process of birth. Birth was seen as a process dealt with by women, as a “woman’s problem.” BUT, Joseph was no ordinary man! Joseph prepped the birthing area, as well as assisted Mary in giving birth, caring for the child and the mother after the birth! Seeing how he was in the caregiver role, he had to have made sure that Mary had food and support, also not customary at that time. He had to serve her, where women were seen only as the servers. How humbling and nurturing for him! He was a man who was definitely ahead of his time.
Joseph was also the master protector of the Holy Family, as he was warned by God in a dream to go a different route, because King Herrod wanted to kill the Newborn King. From all accounts, this journey was into Egypt and more arduous than the journey to Bethlehem. The shortest distance from Bethlehem to Egypt was about 40 miles. Most likely averaging 3.1 miles per hour, it would have been a twelve-hour non-stop trek.
I have to say, I am SO impressed by Joseph’s faith and devotion to God! He put all of his trust in God, but God chose Joseph because of all of his strengths of character.
The Bible does not say much about how Joseph interacted with Jesus, as his earthly father, but I can glean a few things. First. Jesus became a carpenter, like Joseph, so Joseph took the time to teach Jesus a skilled trade and pass on his legacy to his stepchild. Did he do that to keep up appearances or because he considered him as one of his own children?Also, he and Mary looked frantically when Jesus, age 12, disappeared into the temple. They searched for him for 3 days! To me, this shows that Joseph considered Jesus his son. It says SO much about Joseph, who loves a child who is not biologically his, but treats him as such regardless! Children don’t have to be biologically yours to be a Dad, but any man can “father” children through sexual intercourse with the mother. Joseph seemed to look beyond ALL of that!
Whether it’s 1 AD or 2023 AD, Joseph was a man above. A model that men should behold — as gold standard of how to father and how to conduct a relationship. Joseph could’ve been heartless, petty, abusive, a drunkard — but he decided to rise above and make the best of his situation. His love and faith and fairness all made him, AND his family, successful and safe. His praises need to be sung more, because he is a rarity in this world, regardless of the time period!
