Taming the Tongue

Even as followers of Jesus Christ, we are imperfect humans in a fallen world who still have the capacity for bitterness, anger, hatred, jealousy, pride, and offense. 

These words roll so easily off our tongue, sliding through our lips with the ease of water over a waterfall.

Which is exactly what our untamed words become when we lose control. When we let our words flow over the cliff of our emotion, they’re like a river pouring over the edge of the cliff that divides us to crash at the bottom in a deafening roar. 

Nothing impairs a person’s ability to hear the truth like an untamed tongue.

This is not the way to persuade change, win arguments, or exemplify the love of Christ.

If we’re going to engage with the culture around us in a way that changes the atmosphere, we must speak in such a way that others can hear us.

God’s Word tells us that on our own we lack the ability to “tame our tongue” (James 3:8).

Thankfully, He also assures us that though “with men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).

There is a saying that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. The vinegar part is true. Our bitter or harsh words will not win anyone to Christ or change their minds about an errancy in their beliefs.

But that doesn’t mean we should, as too many Christians are doing these days, sugar coat the truth to make it more palatable. 

Honey is only healthy when it’s drawn straight from the hive of truth. 

People are hungry for truth, and God makes it possible for us the speak the truth in love, with kindness and a compassion for others, without compromising our beliefs or needing to soft-sell God’s Word.

If we will win people to Christ, it will be with the truth. If we might change minds deceived by the lies of the enemy, it will be with kindness and compassion.

There is another saying that God gave us two ears and one mouth so we should listen twice as much as we speak. And I would add, we shouldn’t speak until we’ve listened.

It is easy to lump certain groups of people together and treat them all the same. But everybody we meet is a unique individual who desires to be understood on a level more personal than a group affiliation or whatever label the world puts on them.

Love seeks to understand first. It searches for the common ground—even with the most difficult of personalities.

It’s from that place that bridges can be built.

As we step forward into a holy boldness that brings us to the battlefield, we must keep God’s Word as the filter on our mouths.

Need some verses to help you focus? Try these when faced with moments of conflict or emotion:

•   Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21
•   A gentle tongue is a tree of life. Proverbs 15:4
•  Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord my strength and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14
• Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
• Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20  
• Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Colossians 4:6 
•  If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1
• The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly… Proverbs 15:2 

When the time comes when you are compelled to speak up—and pray that it does—, don’t be afraid to speak the truth. 

Just let it come from a tamed tongue that speaks in love. 

O my soul, march on in strength! _{Judges 5:21}