The Brave Decision of a Moral Code - Bravester

    Is your soul generally always disturbed? Does this rant of a quote identify the disturbance that is in your soul?

    “Nowadays we’ve forgotten the word morals and replaced it with boundaries. Boundaries, a popular term in therapy, basically mean the lines we draw in relationships to define what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. In a new romantic relationship, for example, you first need to set boundaries. Boundaries can “be anything, include anything, and change depending on the person/situation/time.” “All that matters is that they feel good to you”! In other words there’s no common moral ground anymore so we are each left to make up our own arbitrary standards, present them to our partners, and hope they find some reason to respect them. We can’t base it on our morality, that’s judgemental, we can’t base it on God, we’ll get laughed at, so instead we base it on our mental health or happiness or some childhood trauma, which makes it feel like an us problem. And we’ve created this messed-up situation where the person in a relationship with a stronger moral instinct often ends up feeling guilty, or seeming the most insecure.

    “The other problem with everyone setting their own personal boundaries is that we are all getting very confused. Heartbreakingly confused. Look at the relationship forums. Look at all the contradictions. Date someone new now and not only do you need to learn their likes and dislikes but their version of right and wrong. Everyone’s boundaries are entitled to respect and all are equally deserving of respect. Set too many and you’re controlling. Cross theirs and you’re toxic. Everything is up for debate! Which is why I think we’ve ended up with all these young women online complaining about having to explain ‘basic decency’ to their boyfriends. Well yep! That’s what happens when everyone makes up their own morality, when we suspend moral judgement. We end up in separate worlds. Turns out if everyone lives their truth we lose grip on the truth, the ultimate truth, moral truth. Turns out if everyone respects everyone’s boundaries we end up fenced off from each other.

    “Because of course in our individualistic culture we call it boundaries, another thing that closes us off from other people. We don’t teach young people a framework of moral values to live by, only how to cut themselves off from behaviour they don’t like.” —Freya India (Worth the click to read the entire rant.)

    Did you feel this rant? Have you felt this confusion, like deep in your soul? Is this the source of some of your anxiety?

    When you read about the lack of moral values, did that signal something to your disturbed soul?

    The author of this rant is a 20-something young woman from England. She has a way of putting to words the confusion we are living in. I love everything she writes because it resonates inside of me as a 40+ year youth pastor concerned about what this confusion is doing to our souls. What kind of world did us older people leave our younger people?

    Did you ever consider that what your soul wants is to live by a moral code?

    A moral code says some things are right and some things are wrong. This can be decided by you individually but then we get “what is true for you is not true for me” and that has led to this current culture of anxiety and the mess inside your soul.

    A moral code indicates that something is wrong. This triggers guilt inside of us. Instead of listening to our souls, we have declared that this is right for me and proceed to shut our soul’s voice down. That feels like misplaced anxiety. That feels like a disturbance we must shut out. (This is why I’m pro-guilt.)

    A moral code is greater than one you decide on. It is from the collective so someone outside of you (because you know how you lie to yourself) says this is wrong and this is right. A moral code backed up by the way of Jesus has been vehemently bashed by our culture as being old-fashioned, restrictive, for dumb people. Yet your soul is telling you something else. Because there is a good and there is a wrong. There are things that destroy your soul and there are things that are righteous.

    (Notice how you are being talked down to and your soul minimized when talking about the way of Jesus.)

    When you experience virtuous decisions that someone makes toward you is your soul awakened because your soul is drawn to the good?

    Think about the last time you were the recipient of someone’s virtuous decision. Your soul sang a little bit, right? Maybe it sang a lot.

    Have you ever considered that the Holy Spirit is whispering to your soul to pursue the good?

    You can perfect yourself, overthink your decisions, manifest, take salt baths, define your own truth, and still have a disturbed soul. Is there something deeper going on?

    The Holy Spirit is calling everyone to God. This is what the Holy Spirit does. We are wooed. Whether you acknowledge your need for a Savior or not, the Holy Spirit is still doing what the Holy Spirit does.

    Is the Holy Spirit wooing your disturbed soul? Even if you have trust issues with God? Even if you want nothing to do with a higher power?

    Will you consider the possibility that you are in need of a savior who isn’t you? Will you consider the savior who is Jesus who because of his sacrifice on that cross gives you the chance to begin as enough so you can now mature into who you already are?

    This is not love yourself so have another salt bath. And then continue trying to find peace for your soul tomorrow. This is conduct yourself better. Make those 1,000 small honorable decisions and on the 1,001 decision you will have formed a virtue. Mature into who you already are. This is making that brave decision that your soul is asking you to make.

    Virtues are living your life out of worthiness because you are enough so you make honorable decisions.

    A virtuous life carries less shame and less regret and less fear of the future. Anxiety is approaching the future with fear. So how about a life with less anxiety also?

    Does this possibility feel good to your soul? Pay attention to that. Ask your questions. Ask me those questions. There is something true here.


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      Brenda Seefeldt

      Brenda is a pastor, author, speaker, wife, mom and Oma. Brenda writes at www.Bravester.com. Her second published book is a Bible study with video about trust issues with God. You can learn more about that at www.trustissueswithGod.com.