Prophets and priests alike, all practice deceit. They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace- Jeremiah 6:13b-14 NIV

Life is full of unwritten rules. 

An unwritten rule is an expectation no one really needs to be told about. For example, we all understand it’s not okay to roam through a public space like a subway or a movie theater with music blaring out of a speaker. There are (to my knowledge) no signs telling people they can’t play their music in these spaces. We all just know better. Because we all know better than to break unspoken rules, when someone does, people judge. 

It’s just how it is. 

Christianity has its own fair share of unwritten rules. There are things we simply do not do in Church world. No one treats communion like a buffet, grabbing enough juice to quench their thirst or enough bread to tide them over until lunch.  Some of the unwritten rules in church world are biblical, others, not so much. One really prominent unwritten rule in church world is: 

No negativity allowed! 

The love of the positive (and aversion to the negative) is reflected in the following “rules” Christians are told to follow:

Christians should only preach and speak about what they’re FOR not what they’re against-

Churches should stick to preaching the gospel only because social issues are not relevant to the gospel-

A good Christian is always kind and never hurts anyone’s feelings-

It’s a terrible sin to speak against “the Lords anointed”-

All of the above rules are well-intended, a few even have Bible verses to back them up. Each one is meant to encourage kindness, cooperation, unity and inoffensiveness. 

All good things. 

But are these “rules” biblical? 

Nope, nope and more nope.

No one should seek to be unnecessarily offensive, nor should Christians preach about social issues to the exclusion of the gospel. It is not okay for believers to hurt people on purpose, slander Christian leaders or criticize good programs designed to help people (2nd Timothy 4:2, Ephesians 4:32, Hebrews 13:17, Isaiah 5:20). Those things are all wrong. Period.

However. 

 It is also true that Jesus routinely addressed the hot-button issues of His day. In the process, He made a lot of folks really angry (Matthew 19:1-10, Luke 20:20-25, Mark 7:10-13, Matthew 20:16). Jesus also openly criticized people, including religious leaders (Matthew 23:1-33, Luke 11:37-53). I suspect Jesus hurt a lot of feelings and yet, God the Father had nothing but good things to say about Jesus (Matthew 3:17, Mark 9:7)

Furthermore. 

There are many instances in the Old Testament where God had nothing good to say about some dearly loved prophets. These “prophets” angered God because they insisted on preaching messages of blessings and positivity when God had declared there would be nothing but a giant load of judgment and trouble for His people (Jeremiah 6:13-14, Jeremiah 14:14, Ezekiel 13:9, Lamentations 2:14, Isaiah 44:24-25). 

The problems with choosing to dwell entirely on the positive are countless. For one thing, it puts a lot of limits on what Christians can and can’t talk about. Any subject that makes people uncomfortable or angry is out. This eliminates much of the Bible and all discussion of sin. It also means Christians can never speak up about social issues, even really evil social issues. If seventeenth century Christians had chosen to only speak a positive, happy message, slavery might still be legal. Our aversion to speaking the negative is one of the key reasons there are so many bad leaders in positions of power in our churches. If one believes its poor form or sinful to discuss problems with a leader’s bad behavior, the silence that ensues gives that pastor plenty of space to keep doing what they’ve been doing. In every church or Christian organization where there has been moral failure there has also been an unspoken (sometimes spoken) rule against saying anything unflattering about the leader.  Never discussing the negative also limits the spiritual and personal growth of individuals. In some church’s spouses (especially women) are discouraged from any negative talk about their spouse’s behavior— even if the behavior is clearly wrong or even abusive. Instead spouses are encouraged to pray that God would speak to their husband or wife. This presupposes the person in question, who is walking in sin is going to listen the Lord when He speaks.  Those folks are denied growth opportunities because their closest neighbor (their spouse) is prohibited from confronting their sin. 

Sigh.

 Instead of insisting on positive vibes only, Christians ought to make a commitment to actively seek God’s best for all people in every situation. Seeking the best means we cover every difficult or potentially thorny conversation in prayer. Seeking the best demands we become biblically literate so we know an answer to prayer when it comes. It means there will times when we keep our pie holes shut because the issue at hand is not really critical or worth offending someone over. Other times seeking the best means saying what needs to be said as kindly as possible, even if offense is taken (Ephesians 4:15, Philippians 1:9-11). Seeking the best for others means we do the hard work of learning to discern right from wrong. It means we remember unsaved people naturally find the gospel and biblical truth offensive (1st Corinthians 1:18, 1st Corinthians 2:14). Loving people and seeking their good means we break the rules by preaching the gospel and speaking against social evil. It means we tell the truth because if we really love people we don’t want them to spend eternity in hell because they lacked pertinent information concerning right and wrong. 

That would be the most unloving thing ever.