The self-delusion is strong with this one (Lori Alexander & others)

By Elizabeth Prata

Lori Alexander is known by her handle The Transformed Wife. Her TwitterX handle is godlywomanhood. She maintains many social media accounts for the express purpose, she says, of teaching women to be keepers at home, as per Titus 2:3-5.

On October 21, 2024, Lori The Transformed Wife, @godlywomanhood wrote-

This is for any of you who think my life is no different than the popular female preachers, influencers, book writers, speakers, and podcasters. I am home full time and always available for my family. I never travel. I’ve never given a speech anywhere. I stopped doing interviews. I donate all the money from my books to a pro-life organization. I just write or do a short video when something comes to mind. I mentor many women privately and on my social media sites in the ways of biblical womanhood as God commands. I stay within the boundary God has given to me to teach in Titus 2:3-5. I am a keeper at home as God commands. 3:06 PM Oct 21, 2024

I am glad she noticed the apparent contradiction of her constant shaming of women who work outside the home compared to her constant work for her ‘ministry’ inside her home. By my count she is on Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, Facebook Private group, Pinterest, TikTok her blog, Instagram, and who know what else. Constantly. These are not dormant platforms. Lori is active. She creates a LOT of content almost every day. She not only works at creating content but manages donations and royalties from her published books, so, she is also working with her finances, too. She is busy.

As I say so often, don’t look at only what these women say, look at what they do. In her defensive posting, Lori unwittingly admits to blogging, authoring, mentoring, youtubing, responding to contacts, and managing her finances. Just because she does it at home instead of an office does not negate the fact that she is extremely busy with her work. Anyone seeing the excessive abundance of her output would note the same. She is deluding herself.

I noticed this kind of self-delusion (or outright lie) in an early Beth Moore blog essay. I had read in a 2010 Christianity Today article, where the interviewer of Beth Moore had stated,

“…she insists on maintaining a regular schedule, traveling every other Friday night and coming home the next night. “We walk the dogs together and eat out together all the time and lie on the floor with pillows and watch TV,” Moore says. “My man demanded attention and he got it, and my man demanded a normal home life and he got it.”

No. The maths ain’t mathing. A normal life? Hardly.

I had already noted that year Moore’s heavy travel schedule at the time, her mention of spending 2 weeks secluded in a cabin in Wyoming to write her book, her book tours, her speaking engagements apart from Living Proof, her TV appearances, her IRS tax-return statement that she worked 50 hours per week at her office in Houston. She was busy. What Moore was claiming and what she was actually doing did not match up.

Is she deluding herself? Is she deceiving others? Both.

I noticed the same with Diana Stone. When Diana Stone was writing for She Reads Truth, we read in Diana Stone’s bio that, “You can find her in the mornings with a cup of coffee and her Bible flung open, preparing for the day ahead.” And “With a sweet daughter in tow, Diana clings to God’s Word daily.“

It turns out that Mrs. Stone relaxes with the Bible “flung open” … after she dropped her daughter to daycare. At the time of that writing, in 2014, the couple had employed a part time nanny to care for their daughter in their home so Mrs. Stone could work as a freelance writer. After bumping along with several nannies, (likely not a fun time for the children with personnel coming and going) they put their child in daycare so Mrs. Stone could continue to write at home. So yes, she was at home…while a day care worker took care of her kid. What she tells the public and what is actually going on did not match up.

It was the same with so many others such as Priscilla Shirer, Joanna Gaines, Jackie Hill Perry… If a Christian mother chooses a career and also has children, one or the other, or both, will suffer. No matter how they try to spin it.

It is impossible for a woman to claim undivided attention for the children at home AND have an outside the house career, especially when it’s evident by reading their blogs, seeing their speaking schedules, and just having common sense to see their lifestyle. These women on the speaking circuit are either deluding themselves or their audience, or both. But the main problem is the hypocrisy of saying you live godly as a wife and mom but living your career too.

If a woman and her husband decide she needs to work outside the home, there may be good reasons for that to which the outsider is not privy. Sheerah in the Bible was “a builder.” Rachel was a shepherdess. Deborah was a wife but also a Judge. Lydia ran a business of selling purple but also had her own household. There ARE examples of women in the Bible who worked.

But if she is a mother, yes, then her first priority should be the children. John Mark was blessed with a mom and a grandma who raised him in the admonition of the Law. Don’t be fooled by mothers who have young children at home who try to talk the talk about being totally oriented to the home all the while living a different lifestyle away from the home. We aren’t dumb. We see you.

If you have to work, so be it. There may be good reasons. On the flip side, if you’re ashamed of being a stay at home mom, realize it is a magnificent thing. The point is, there is no room for self-deception and no call to deceive others…unless that is the intent.