The Taste of Peace: Seasoning Every Table with Gentleness
If you live in the United States, as soon as the calendar flips to November, thoughts turn to Thanksgiving preparations. But with Christmas right on the heels, even those living around the world anticipate a busy holiday season. In rapid succession these thoughts turn to family gatherings. But for some, the thought of family gatherings conjures feelings of anxiety or dread as we anticipate the inevitable friction and tension which leave a bad taste in our mouths for family festivities. But what if we chose seasoning every table with gentleness instead?
In addition to expected friction or relational tension, like me, you may also fear the family member who never fails to trigger you, unearthing old trauma memories. Or maybe you dread the insensitive family member whose dismissive attitude makes light of your chronic illness. Then there’s my personal favorite, the cringe worthy “Eliphaz” (Job 4) type who offers self-righteous advice about the course of your suffering. Who, like Job’s other false friends wound more than they comfort, leaving you feeling forsaken by God. (Job 2:11-13)
But perhaps you are blessed by a close-knit caring family who enjoys every chance for gathering. Yet, to quote Tolstoy, “All happy families are alike: each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” (Opening line of Anna Karenina) Every family table carries its own mix of memories, opinions, and unspoken tensions.
Holiday gatherings tend to magnify both joy and friction.
Yet Jesus invited us to choose a different path—one of living as the salt of the earth, bringing a distinct “flavor” to every space we enter. A flavor marked by the taste of peace, gentleness, and grace. Our calling opens opportunity for seasoning gatherings with gentleness, a calm presence promoting unity.
Gentleness as Strength
As a fruit of the Spirit, (Galatians 5:22-23) gentleness provides a ready seasoning for our holiday tables. Whether we anticipate tense conversations or tender encounters, gentleness sprinkles every discussion with calm rather than criticism.
Though some may view gentleness as weakness, its controlled power diffuses unnecessary tension. It allows space for honest listening to viewpoints contrary to our own, creating opportunity for deeper understanding of another’s pain. A response of gentleness even when we feel provoked, demonstrates the power of peace rooted in Christ.
I remember a family gathering many years ago, when a family member made a joke about my current troubling situation. As a new Christian, I battled my humiliation silently, while praying a primitive prayer for help. I was able to respond with grace, which later I learned impacted another family member’s openness to Christ.
Peace as a Non-Anxious Presence
Salt’s silent presence in a well-seasoned dish provides a steady and consistent influence on the overall flavor of the dish.
Our family gatherings offer opportunity for us to provide a steady peace as a non-anxious presence. In a world where reactivity appears commonplace, choosing a posture which avoids drama and defensiveness becomes a quiet testimony of inner peace.
My aunt, who influenced my early years as a young Christian, taught this principle by example. The mother of five children, gatherings at her home boasted no shortage of drama and conflict, especially during the teen years. Yet my memories of those family gatherings render a portrait of her serene presence and gentle smile at the head of the table.
Gentleness Extends Grace to the Undeserving
It seems almost every family gathering anticipates that one obdurate family member. The argumentative one, the attention seeker, the complainer, or the loud opinionated one. Despite our best intentions, these family members dismantle our gentleness with little effort.
But peace grows when we extend grace.
Offering kindness without condition, even to those who test our patience, seasons relationships with hope and healing.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gave many examples of gentleness extending grace to the undeserving, including the beatitude quoted above. When we offer grace even to those who least deserve it, we promote peace—embodying Christ’s character, living in harmony with others. Fulfilling our calling stated just a few verses later in Matthew 5:13, we become the preserving influence of salt in deteriorating circumstances.
A calm person in a chaotic room stands out without effort.
Imagine embodying that role at your holiday gatherings. Your tone, smile, even your gentle pauses speaking peace into tension. As you bring the taste of peace to your holiday table, like salt, you will enhance what is good, rather than overpowering it.
Seasoning every table with gentleness, you will invite Christ’s quiet presence into each encounter, opening the door for His love and hope to permeate very heart.
As you gather this season, how might bringing peace instead of opinion, calm instead of control transform your family gatherings?
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