Walking it Out — Grateful, yet Grieving

The milestone every parent looks forward to is the day their child learns to walk. It’s the one thing we do all our lives until we are injured or unable. Walking benefits us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. 

The day after my husband died, I put on my shoes and took the dog for a walk. It became the “thing” I did: to move my body when I was so broken, to see beauty with every breath, to discover a different life than I had known, to pray and pour out my pain to God. In other words, it was the way to walk out my grief,

At the end of 2022, my friend Carole approached me and asked if I’d be interested in walking the Camino de Santiago in northern Spain. I knew of the Camino after watching the 2010 film, “The Way,” with Martin Sheen. The historical nature of the Camino de Santiago follows the ancient pilgrim path, also known as The Way of Saint James. Each year, thousands of people travel to Spain for the journey of a lifetime.

Walking the Camino had not been on my bucket list, but I thought, “Why not?” I was mostly concerned about the physicality of walking 9-11 miles a day. After we purchased our plane tickets, Carole and I began walking 3 miles, then 6 miles, then 9 miles. I discovered that walking over 70 miles in 10 days was much more than the physical activity of walking. It was a spiritual and emotional journey, a pilgrimage of body, mind, soul, and spirit.

Vance Havner, the late pastor and author, said, “If you don’t come apart for a while, you will come apart in a while.” Taking time to come apart as a pilgrim on the Camino allowed me to reset, recalibrate, and recenter. It gave me a perspective of looking down from a balcony at myself rather than the daily stage where I normally lived. At the beginning of the journey, I prayed, “Lord, declutter my soul, renew my mind, reengage my faith, allow me to listen to you as I slow down and listen to Your voice.” This prayer was answered as I returned home. Slowing down to reevaluate my life as a widow offered me a reset as I looked back while considering my present and future. 

Whether you choose to walk the Camino de Santiago or take a walk in your neighborhood, setting aside time to unplug, untether, and disconnect offers a reset that we all need. Time apart keeps us from coming apart.

(Later this month, my book, “Walking the Way, A 21-Day Devotional for the Camino de Santiago” will be available on Amazon. I’ll keep you posted)


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