"What God Will Do" Instead of "Why Again?"
As parents, one of the phrases that slips out most often is likely, "Why did you do that again?" This short sentence carries a heavy weight—a label born of frustration that whispers, "You were like this before, and you haven't changed." Saying things like "I knew you’d do that" or "That’s just how they are" acts like iron bars, locking a child away in the prison of their past.
1. The Jewish Perspective: Eyes Fixed on Past Sin
In John 9, we meet a man blind from birth. When the disciples and the religious leaders see him, their first instinct is to ask:
"Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" (John 9:2)
The culture of that time was rooted deeply in retribution. They believed every misfortune was a direct result of a "past sin." To them, this man wasn't a person to be loved, but a problem to be analyzed and judged.
We often look at our children through this same lens. When they make a mistake, we immediately look backward: "It's because I didn't discipline them enough," or "They’ve always been stubborn." We pin their identity to their history. But a gaze fixed on the past offers no room for a child to heal or grow.
2. Jesus’ Perspective: Looking Toward the Future and God’s Glory
Jesus shatters this mindset with a revolutionary answer:
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:3)
Jesus snapped the chains of "whose fault is it?" He didn't focus on the cause in the past; He focused on the purpose in the future. By rubbing mud on the man’s eyes and sending him to the Pool of Siloam, Jesus turned a life of suffering into a canvas for God’s glory.
3. The Gospel Beyond Justice: Love that Paid the Price
This raises a question: "Does sin not matter then?" Of course it does. The Bible is clear that the wages of sin is death, and the Law demands a just penalty. God is not lawless; He is perfectly just and holy.
The miracle of the Gospel is that God maintained His justice while choosing to save us by paying the price Himself.
Justice: The debt for sin must be paid.
The Gospel: God Himself became human (Jesus Christ) and paid that debt in full on the Cross.
This Gospel reached the blind man in John 9 just as it reaches us. He couldn't change his situation, but Jesus stepped in with grace. The Gospel doesn’t ignore the wrong; it is the power that transcends judgment through love to set us right.
4. Our Calling: Devoted Love that Mirrors Christ
Just as Jesus empathized with the blind man’s pain and got His hands dirty to heal him, we are called to a devotion that mirrors Christ. Anyone can point out a child’s flaws. But covering those flaws and helping carry the weight of them? That is a grace only a parent who has experienced the Cross can give.
Jesus doesn't throw our past in our faces; He gave His life to open our future. As parents, instead of raising our voices in blame, we should be the ones kneeling before God on our children's behalf. This kind of devoted love is the bridge that helps a child realize: "I am not defined by my mistakes; I am defined by God’s love."
5. How to Raise Our Children: Become a "Siloam" Parent
What does it look like to see our children through the eyes of Jesus?
Speak Hope, Not Labels: Telling a child "You’re always like this" traps them. Instead, say: "I can’t wait to see how God is going to use you and grow you through this."
Practice "Substitutionary" Love: Love isn't ignoring a mistake. It’s pointing it out clearly, but then—just as Jesus did for us—sharing the pain and the responsibility of fixing it so they can stand up again.
Ask "How," Not Just "Why": Instead of the interrogation of "Why did you do that?" try asking, "How can we show God’s glory even in this situation?"
Our children are not just the sum of their past mistakes. They are future masterpieces being shaped by God’s hand and your devotion. Today, I hope you can close the eyes of judgment and look at your child with the "restoring eyes" and "sacrificial love" of Jesus.
