What happens if you try to find love because you are lonely

Proverbs 4:23:

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

Psalm 27:14: 

"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

In today's world, many singles try to find love primarily because they fear loneliness. It is a common concern—you do not want to end up growing old and facing the prospect of spending your twilight years alone. 

You see your friends settling down, starting families, and building lives together, and you start to ask, “Will you ever find that kind of companionship?”

And if you find yourself grappling with the idea of wanting a life partner, you might also feel a tinge of guilt, questioning whether you should rely solely on your faith instead. It is a valid concern, but it is important to recognize that desiring companionship does not diminish your faith. 

Wanting a life partner is a natural human desire—it does not mean you are lacking in your relationship with Christ.

However, be careful if you try to find love out of loneliness.

When loneliness becomes overwhelming, it can push you to settle for anyone who comes along, even if they are not the right fit for you. You might find yourself in a relationship just for the sake of having someone around, even if that person does not truly fulfill your emotional needs. In doing so, you may end up feeling even lonelier than before, trapped in a relationship that only exacerbates your sense of isolation.

For example, you might overlook red flags or important differences in values or compatibility because you are so desperate for companionship. This could lead to problems down the line, as unresolved issues surface and strain the relationship.

Moreover, seeking love out of loneliness can make you more vulnerable to manipulation or abuse. For instance, someone might take advantage of your loneliness to control or exploit you emotionally, leaving you feeling even more isolated and powerless.

Also, trying to fill a void with a relationship can put undue pressure on both you and your partner. You might expect them to single-handedly alleviate your loneliness, which is an unrealistic burden for any relationship to bear. This can create tension and resentment, ultimately driving you further apart rather than bringing you closer together.

Just as you are encouraged to safeguard your heart against negative influences and harmful relationships, you are also urged to exercise caution when pursuing romantic connections. By being mindful of your emotional well-being and not allowing loneliness to cloud your judgment, you can better protect yourself from entering into relationships that may ultimately cause more harm than good. 

Discern about who you let into your life and being willing to prioritize your own emotional health and happiness above all else.

And instead of solely focusing on finding a romantic partner, consider devoting yourself to ministry and trusting in God's timing for your love life. 

As you invest your time and effort in serving others, you will find joy and contentment that can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and longing for a partner. Meanwhile, when trusting in Him, you can find peace and assurance in knowing that He is working all things together for your good.

Read more:

Guard your heart; do not be a serial dater