What should I do with energy vampires?

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Have you ever encountered someone that intentionally drains your emotional energy? We call them energy vampires who leave you tired and overwhelmed. 

Besides, it is a toxic behavior we must deal with to protect ourselves from significant emotional or physical stress. 

You can encounter them anywhere, such as in the workplace, home, or church. They could be your spouse, friends, relatives, or in-laws. They demand a lot from the people they target. 

Over time, if we do not know how to deal with them, it could lead to anxiety, depression, and even heart disease.

Thus it is vital to know how to determine and react to this toxic personality, so we can continue living in peace and please the Lord.

Who are energy vampires?

Energy vampires are those who do not take accountability. They blame others when conflict arises. Also, they are the ones who constantly find themselves amid drama and pass it on to others. 

Moreover, they hope for you to absorb their emotional and dramatic behavior. Besides, they always want to have the spotlight and have a hard time feeling genuinely happy about the success of others. 

Additionally, to drain most of your energy, despite knowing that you are upset, they will shift the attention of the discussion about themselves. It leads your dismay into a part of their emotional buffet.

If you are sensitive, then you are their primary target. Since you are always willing to listen and you are kind. Energy vampires will use your qualities to drain you and your vitality.

Energy vampires often depend on guilt trips to get what they want. They know that shame is an excellent tool against compassionate and caring people. So, they use these schemes to capture a person’s attention and pressure them into doing something.

How to deal with energy vampires?

Dealing with energy vampires is crucial to protect ourselves from committing sins and depression. As humans, we have our limitations, and once we exceed them and burst out into anger, we might hurt them.

Ephesians 4:26 says, in your anger, do not sin.

There are ways to face energy vampires as we live a Christ-centered life. Remember that how you deal with them is not just about treating them with respect but also demonstrating who Jesus is in you.

Here are some ways to protect ourselves from energy vampires without sinning. 

Set your boundaries

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It is OK to set your boundaries against energy vampires. If it is your colleagues or friends, it is OK to set limitations. You can control your interactions with them by not agreeing to join them for lunch or breaks. 

Though this could be easier said than done at the beginning, it is still possible for you to develop rooms in life where energy vampires could not enter. 

Furthermore, the whole point of boundaries is not an unloving defense to make the distance but to contain ourselves within the parameters of where we should stop, and others begin. It is a healthy way to avoid energy vampires from draining you and leaving you emotionally exhausted.

Remain calm

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Remaining calm when you had enough of dramas and blaming energy vampires is easier said than done. But, the Bible says in Proverbs 14:17 that people with a hot temper do stupid things, but wiser individuals remain calm. 

Although anger is a normal response to some circumstances, how you respond makes you who you are. Energy vampires love to see you burst out of your anger because the more they could have reasons to blame you or put the guilt on you.

Most of the time, energy vampires only see how you responded, but they never know the cause of why you got mad. Then, they could act as victims of your response and tell it to others. 

So, be careful and control your anger because not only could it be taken against you, but it also could cause you to sin.

Adjust your expectations

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You cannot change an energy vampire because they are not accountable for their actions. However, what you can control is your expectations about them. 

Sometimes we feel more frustrated when we try to fix them by giving our opinions or advice. So, as they say, “less talk, less mistakes.” You know that as energy vampires, they are not willing to listen to what you say and just want to talk about themselves. 

You have to set your expectations so it would not lead you to disappointments and distress when they do not listen to you. Energy vampires think they are always right, so do not insist on people who do not want to be corrected. 

In addition, they would only reject your advice, so why bother? You could feel lucky if they would accept their mistakes.

Pray for them

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Instead of trying to change them, surrender them to God and pray for them. Prayer is a powerful tool to protect yourself from sinning and shift the energy vampire through God’s hands. 

Though it is difficult to pray for someone you feel irritated with, that is what the Bible asks us to do: to pray for our enemies. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus said we must love our enemies and pray for those persecuting us.

If they would not listen to your advice or want to change their behavior, let God work in them. God has a plan for His people, including energy vampires. 

He can transform them uniquely, just like He did to Paul: from a murderer and persecutor of Believers to a messenger of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

You cannot take accountability for people unaware of their actions and do not feel remorse. Thus, you can leave them in God’s hands because His ways and thoughts are higher than ours.

Still, be kind

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No matter how much they drain your emotions and make you feel stressed, we still do not have the right to mistreat them. The Bible teaches us the opposite of what the world wants us to do. 

Luke 6:35 says, “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Highest, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.”

Remember that when we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are not living for our own but for Him. If we want to follow Him, we must deny ourselves and take up his cross. (Matthew 16:24)

Our emotions should not drive us. We must be kind, even to the undeserving, as Jesus showed us. He loved us and showed kindness and grace. Who are we not to treat others with the same compassion and grace we received?

Whenever the energy vampires are with you because sometimes you cannot avoid having gatherings with them, treat them with kindness while setting up your boundaries by not having a long conversation with them. 

Forgive them

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Our exhaustion dealing with energy vampires could lead you to resentment. Their attitude may have hurt you, and they may admit it, but you have to learn to forgive them. 

It is one way to protect your peace and your energy from them. Without forgiving, those energy vampires would continue to drain your strength and bother you even without encountering them.

As a result, when you forgive them, you guard your heart against anger and protect your relationship with God. He does not want to be resentful because it could lead you to sin.

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Jepryll Torremoro

I am God's daughter who wanted to proclaim His goodness through writing. I believe that I am called to write for His glory. I am a Pastor's wife and has been serving in the ministry since I was young. As a writer, I want to share how God sustains me in my motherhood and in my marriage. Also, I want to discover more about Jesus and how I could be more like Him. Writing has become a platform for me to strengthen my faith and at the same time share it to others. It is my passion to serve God through maximizing my gift in writing.