When A Dream Makes You Sad
I woke up feeling sad.
Wishing I could control my dreams.
But I can’t.
No one can.
The thing is, I’m starting to wonder if I do–in a way, you know? Like my inner conscience or something…
I don’t always remember my dreams. Just sometimes I know that I did have a dream, but I can’t really remember the details. I don’t really dream a lot, but enough to know that there is often no rhyme or reason. The strange imagination of my sleeping brain can sure create havoc on my awake brain!
I wonder… as I am comforted in the fact that the face I see in my dream seems happy. Happily married, holding a child in his arms.
Until I wake up to the reality– and wish it were so.
He had been a very short-term boyfriend my senior year of high school, and the dream bothered me for more than one reason:
#!. I don’t like dreaming about any man other than my husband!
#2. The dream couldn’t be farther from the truth and not even remotely possible.
He never married, and two years ago he committed suicide.
I begin praying, asking God why I would have such a dream. Why, when I hadn’t thought of him for a very long time.
WHY?
AND HOW? How did those thoughts get inside my head–my dream–and what was I supposed to do with it?
Taking these questions to the only one with answers, I asked God for wisdom and clarity.
Was it just a dream? Or was I supposed to do something?
I was saddened at the thought that he had never experienced what I saw in my dream–a consequence of his choices.
I was heartbroken over the fact that I could have possibly had a better influence on him in the short time that I knew him.
I don’t know if he knew Jesus. I never asked him.
I was saved as a child, but I was still very immature in my faith, and had not grown like I should have, so there were never any spiritual discussions. To be honest, I don’t remember having any discussions that really mattered–we were very different and broke it off after a short time.
But still.
It was there. The dream. The sadness of an opportunity missed.
So what now?
Obviously, I can’t go back–God knows my past–He knows my heart, and He forgives and heals when we bring it all to Him.
I know by now that you’re probably thinking I’m crazy. That there is no way that I could be responsible for another’s choice. As true as that might be, it also might be that God had other plans and I missed it. I can’t go back, but I can ask for forgiveness where it’s needed, and go forward with new conviction.
I am reminded to pray for wisdom. To have heavenly perspective.
I am reminded to pray for his family. Thanking God for His mercy and grace, I am given renewed compassion and a renewed focus on the things that really matter.
I am reminded to pray for others that I know that have endured the same pain.
I am reminded that EVERY.PERSON.MATTERS.
I am reminded to pray for my children and grandchildren, that they will know God’s love, learn from their mistakes, receive God’s forgiveness, and live their lives in a way that reflects His grace and glory.
I was young and immature, yes. But you can’t use that excuse forever. I fall short, mess up, neglect, regret. That’s why I need Him. That’s why you need him, friend.
“Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through Him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses.”
Acts 13:38-39
He is our hope, our joy, or refuge. He restores us, rescues us, redeems us…
…even from our dreams.
“Let them see YOU in me…”
Categories: Christianity, Encouragement, Faith, Inspiration, Life, Truth from Scripture
Tagged as: dreams, encouragement, faith, forgiveness, HOPE, inspiration, life lessons, love, purpose, regret, relationship with God