When The Night Feels Long
Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash
Who rises up for me against the wicked?
Who stands up for me against evildoers?
If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.
When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.
When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.
-- Psalm 94:16-19 (ESV)
My ancestor, Alice Lake, carried the heavy weight of guilt over past sins. When her fifth child died shortly after birth, that guilt resurfaced, and grief settled deep within her soul, leaving her despondent and weary.
In the quiet of the night, she dreamed of her lost child. These tender moments might have brought her comfort but instead became a source of accusation. Those dreams were twisted into evidence against her, setting into motion the events that led to her death and a devastating legacy.
In the early 17th Century, little was known about postpartum depression, and emotions were rarely given space for expression. Alice grieved deeply and openly. Those around her who were uncomfortable with her display of emotion, condemned her rather than showing her grace.
Many years before Alice lived, the psalmist wrote of his distress, even to the point of despair. He felt alone, accused, and desolate. He cried out to God as his only source of help and justice:
“But the Lord has become my stronghold, and my God the rock of my refuge.” (v 22)
Throughout Scripture, we are instructed to show mercy, be kind and compassionate and extend grace to those in need. Yet we still wrestle with showing up for the broken. We say the wrong things. We hesitate to walk quietly beside them in their heart-wrenching sorrow. And at times we may even point an accusing finger, as if they have brought the trouble upon themselves.
Sometimes people need our presence more than our words. Other times, they may seek our counsel. We must be prepared for both. There are moments when we are the weary ones in need of care. In those times, we must be willing to be receive ministry, even when it comes imperfectly through others.
We need people who will walk beside us and gently ask:
• “How is your health?”
• “How is your heart?”
• “Can I pray with you?”
• “May I bring you a meal?”
• “Do you need someone to go with you to the doctor or a counselor?”
Self-examination is never wasted. It is wise to ask, “Why am I feeling this way?” But self-condemnation is a tool of the enemy, drawing us deeper into despair and isolation. His purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. He wants to steal our joy, kill our faith, and destroy our families, and we must stand against him.
God has given us many tools for this battle: His Word, worship, fellowship, and wise counsel. Even exercise and hydration can be good remedies for a hurting heart. Sometimes counsel comes through a trusted friend, but we should not discount the value of trained professionals or medical doctors who can provide needed care and perspective.
If you are in need, reach out for help.
If you see someone in need, be the hands and feet of Jesus, offering grace and mercy.
Even when the night or season feels long, the Lord remains your stronghold—morning will come.
Questions for Reflection:
1. Where do you turn when you are downcast? (Psalm 61:2-4)
2. How can you help a friend who needs a hand up from the miry pit? (I John 3:18)
3. How can you be prepared to help bear one another’s burdens? (Galatians 6:2)
