When We're Sinning All Over Each Other
Photo image courtesy Nicole O'Meara
“Your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11 See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern,what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.” -- 2 Corinthians 7:9-11 (NIV)
The hard part about parenting (or any relationship, really) is that I’m a sinner trying to raise little sinners, and every day, we’re sinning all over each other.
The same is true at work and in my friendships. It’s easy going when I’m staying in my lane, being obedient to Christ, serving in humility, and displaying the Fruit of the Spirit. But the second I take one itty-bitty selfish step; I mess everything up.
This was only too evident recently when I was asked to bend the rules for someone. They put a lot of pressure on me to trust them not to abuse the desired extended privilege. Well, I did trust them, but I still couldn’t do what they asked. Miffed, they made unkind comments and left. It was only by God’s grace that I didn’t say something I would later regret. But I’ll admit that I said words in my head. And I certainly lost sleep! Simply put, we were sinning all over each other.
I had expected things to be easy. That was my first misstep. My second was in letting one person’s sin send me down a path to personal sin, internal though it may have been.
Goodness, it’s that gap between what we expect and what we get that trips us up, right?
Here are the Expectation Gaps I tripped into just this week.
• When I expected my daughter to be grateful for my help, but instead, I got an “I can do it myself” attitude
• When I expected my new leadership role to take 5-10 hours a week, but instead it took me 15 hours last week
• When I expected the washing machine to turn on and wash the stinking bedsheets, but instead it beeped at me and turned off
I fell into those Expectation Gaps all the way down to a bog of sin. In the miry pit, I realized my problem was less of an expectation gap and more of a knowledge gap. At the bottom of every sin is a misunderstanding about the character of God. I needed to confess the gap in my misunderstanding as much as the sin it led me to. Paul calls this “godly sorrow” because it’s for our good and his glory. (2 Cor 7:9-11) Godly sorrow leads us to a correct understanding of our sin and of God’s character.
Our God is slow to anger (Exodus 34:6). He doesn’t expect me to do things His way without a struggle.
He is patient (2 Peter 3:9). He takes all the time needed to minister to my heart.
He is sovereign, good, and glorious (Daniel 7:13-15)! I can trust His perfect path, even when it’s bumpy and takes unexpected turns.
Godly sorrow over our sin leads to repentance, which leads us to God’s heart and makes us more Christlike.
When we know God better, the Expectation Gaps that could lead to sin become opportunities to lead us to growth.
Questions for Reflection:
1. What sin are you struggling with?
2. What happened before the sin that caught you in an Expectation Gap?
3. What misunderstanding about God does that Expectation Gap reveal?
4. Find a Scripture passage that speaks to the correct character of God and write it down to remind yourself of the truth.
