Why? Ask the cheater. - Divorce Minister
“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”
-Jeremiah 17:9, NLT
Feeling obligated to have an explanation for an abandonment or divorce plays a significant role in the suffering in my experience.
It is crazy-making. You do not have access to the thoughts of the person who really is responsible for the actions leading to these questions.
THAT PERSON cheated and walked out on you.
Why can’t that behavior say enough? It is about the cheater, not the faithful spouse or even the marriage.
I am sure most people–if they ever do ask the cheater–get all sort of “excuses” from the cheater for choosing to sin.
The Christian understanding of these matters is one that puts the source at the heart of the sinner (see Mark 7:21-23). Ultimately, the temptation mastered the cheater, not the cheater the sin.
What happened?
A darkness exists in each of us as sinners. Some people are able to resist evil and do good. Others follow that temptation and allow the evil to blossom. Cheaters are the later sort of people as far as “what happened.”
Do not buy even pastors who talk about marriages dissolving due to other issues. That is secular psycho-babble.
Sure, developing relationship skills are important. But lack of relationship skills is not what kills marriages. Sin does.
Learn how to develop character to resist sin’s temptation is the best way to prevent succumbing to its destruction. And choosing a partner with similarly strong character is vital to the success of your marriage as well.
