Why Friendship Matters — Carol McLeod Ministries — Carol McLeod Ministries

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Friends … sisters … kindred spirits …companions.

Don’t we need them all?

Isn’t it vital to have a girlfriend or two to lighten your load … to laugh with …to pray with … to talk to … to listen to?

Friends … recently I have been thinking about them …and the friends that I have had along my life’s journey.

From childhood giggles and playing with dolls … to teenage companions and the telling of secrets.

College friends with whom I dreamed and then prayed long into the night … my young mom friends with whom I exchanged recipes, babysitting, and tears.

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend. – Proverbs 27:9

Human nature is wired and completed when relationships are meaningful and genuine.

Even science indicates that relationships are a healthy part of our life’s journey.

But friendship has always been God’s idea … the power of two or three is life-changing and destiny-creating.

“For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” – Matthew 18:20

A true friend … a kindred spirit … is one with whom you can be yourself without an ounce of guile or an iota of pretense.

When you can be you … imperfections and all … and still find love and camaraderie … you can be assured that this friendship will go the distance.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘You too? I thought I was the only one.’” – C. S. Lewis

In a healthy and vibrant friendship … one friend must not do all the talking. Even introverts need someone to listen to their thoughts … believe me … I know!

When you discover a person who will listen while you talk … but then talk while you listen … you have found a gift!

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” – Ed Cunningham

Not only does a good friend know the value of both listening and talking … but this kind of friend does more than just merely hear … they listen attentively and with focus.

A caring friend will always listen with her heart. What a rare and amazing gift!

These unique buddies are interested in the concerns of your heart … the order of your day … the state of your family … and the thoughts in your mind.

“A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” Proverbs 27:9

A sincere companion is generous with her time … her home … her family … and her resources.

Did you ever have a gal pal who gave you the shirt off her back? 

The shoes in her closet? 

A cup of sugar? 

An invitation to a family holiday gathering? 

Tickets to a great concert?

It seems to me that “generosity” is synonymous with “friendship”.

A sister of the heart is willing to give … and to give … and to give again.

Some confidants give their time … others give tangible gifts … but they always give of their hearts.

I had a dear friend in high school – Mary Ann – whom I knew I could trust implicitly.

I knew that my secrets were safe with Mary Ann, as hers were with me.

I knew that Mary Ann would never talk about me behind my back … and so this rare gift of a girlfriend had my undivided loyalty as well.

Loyalty … what a lovely word. It’s a word that is reserved for the deepest and dearest of relationships.

“A true friend loves at all times.” – Proverbs 17:17

Mary Ann and I don’t see each other often in these years … she lives in Florida … and I live in Oklahoma.

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

However …when Mary Ann and I are together …it’s as if we are 17 years old once again! We pick up right where we left off … we talk for hours with no rancor … with compassionate understanding … and with complete honesty.

Loyalty laid the foundation for a lasting friendship that even time is unable to mar or erase.

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” – Elisabeth Foley

My grandmother used to tell me… “Carol … in order to have a friend, you must be a friend.”

I have thought of her wise words often over the years … and even though I am decades removed from the drama of high school … and the insecurity of puberty … I can assure you that my grandmother’s words held timeless truth.

If I want to cultivate the relationships that my heart yearns for … I must be a friend.

I must listen with my heart … and I must be generous.

I must be courageous enough to be myself …and I must always be loyal.

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” – 1 Peter 4:8-10

Thanks for listening to my heart this week.  As you know by now, my heart is truly not a perfect heart, but it is a heart that is filled to overflowing with gratitude for the life I have been given and for the people who walk with me.  And, it continues to be a heart that is relentlessly chasing after God and all that He is.

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Carol McLeod

Carol McLeod is a best-selling author, popular speaker, and respected podcaster who encourages and empowers women with the power and principles found in God's Word. She mixes passionate and practical biblical messages with her own special brand of hope and humor in order to help them navigate life's challenges with faith and resilience.