This post is a reminder to encourage dating women that you don’t have to work so hard in your relationships. Men are not children that are to be raised by their women. We understand this in theory, but sometimes, it’s difficult for some women to apply this reality in their relationships.
Some women are exhausted and frustrated from working so hard on their men as their personal projects. “I’m a ride or die chic!” some women proudly proclaim. A woman is not created to be a man’s savior. Jesus Christ alone is in that role. God did not create women so that we can pair up with men who destroy us.
Women inspire or influence men, but can’t change men.
Women inspire men by our values, behaviors, attitudes, standards and expectations. Grown, responsible men do not need to be bailed out all the time by the women in their lives. Being a man comes with a sense of dignity and an innate understanding of responsibility.
Therefore, sometimes when women care for men in ways that infantilize them, some men will be receptive to an extent, but may resent the women. They know that as men, they are supposed to be doing those things that the women are doing for them. Yet, they will often take advantage of these women’s efforts.
A woman’s job is not to save her man from porn, rage, general sex perversion, irresponsibility, or anything else that he must choose to turn from. I like to give men credit for being grown. I respect that. I know I don’t need to mother them.
To the ladies trying to play saviors to men, you are not your men’s saviors. Your men must do the work.
• A woman can inspire a man.
• She can stand by him through the good and bad.
• A woman can encourage and support a man.
• A woman should have reasonable standards for her man and stick to her standards.
• A woman should show her man respect.
Still, a woman cannot change a man. The goal is to choose properly a man who is primarily compatible with her, rather than choosing someone who is incompatible and trying to change him.
An ideal couple is generally compatible in their values, goals, aspirations and interests. I have seen women treat men as if they are toddlers who need to be taught the ABCs of human decency!
Men and women are grown humans. They know what they are doing. They know right from wrong. As adults, they should be respected as such. They are not toddlers and shouldn’t need to be taught the ABCs of human decency.
I encourage young ladies to not allow single shaming, familial, and social pressures to influence them to choose carelessly.
I especially want to point this out to younger ladies, because often the younger women have not been properly informed and have not seen many of the right examples.
Some people choose their spouses or partners based on present availability, material wealth, social status and physical appearances. Some choose out of societal pressures, loneliness, or out of fear and desperation, thinking they will never meet the one otherwise.
Yes, outer appearances do matter. There should be mutual attraction. Also, there are personal preferences, which are fine. But these things should not take priority over standards, over character traits. It is important to choose a person based on their integrity.
Followers of Jesus Christ must always pray for direction in all aspects of life. We need God’s guidance. Christians must be equally yoked with other Christians.
As always, the message in this post can be inverted. I address ladies, but men also should choose wisely and not assume they can later change their women either! Yet, none of us is perfect and we can be inspired by the person we care deeply for to become better ourselves, and inspire them to become better.
Encouraging Bible Verses :
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
– 2 Corinthians 6: 14
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.
-Proverbs 16: 9
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. – Phillipians 4: 6-7
