You need someone to take care of you?! - Divorce Minister

Do you need someone to take care of you?!

This accusation was aimed to shame. It was aimed to suggest the person hearing it was less than an adult. But it missed the mark.

Pets do not usually feed us as the ravens did for Elijah. However, they can and do offer important emotional support. I know my cat, Mr. Pickles, helped me survive my first wife’s abandonment, adultery, and the divorce.

He did take care of me, in a sense.

Mr. Pickles gave me unconditional love and reminded me of the eternal truth that I was accepted as beloved. That was needed during a time of extreme rejection.

I have no doubt God used Mr. Pickles greatly in my life to communicate these truths about His heart for me. God knew I needed something–even a cat–to communicate that to me in the flesh, and Mr. Pickles did that well.

Pets are such gifts from God. Yes, we have to feed them and care for their needs. However, I have found what they give back in affection and connection far surpasses what they demand of us.

"I protected YOUR reputation! So..." - Divorce Minister

“I protected YOUR reputation with our friends,” says Cheater. “So, I am asking you to do the same for me.” First, do not believe a proven liar, and Cheaters are proven liars. They are only saying this to control the narrative and protect their image. They assume here the faithful spouse will lie for their … Continue reading "“I protected YOUR reputation! So…”"

Apr 2, 20252 min read

David Derksen

"Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but..." - Divorce Minister

“Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but you’ve got issues, too,” says false “friend.” You need to lose “friends” that respond in this sort of way to your infidelity trauma. They are not behaving as a friend. In fact, they are making things worse by equating your imperfections with a double-life of lies and … Continue reading "“Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but…”"

Mar 31, 20251 min read

David Derksen

I don't get it. - Divorce Minister

I don’t get faithful spouses wanting to be friends with their Cheaters. Sure, there’s pressure to do this “for the kids” if kids are involved. Some may feel pressure from outsiders to do this to not burden them with the ugliness that is reality. It makes sense for Cheaters to want this–i.e. to be “friends.” … Continue reading "I don’t get it."

Mar 31, 20251 min read

David Derksen

Contrasting Lay Christian Counselors - Divorce Minister

Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success. -Proverbs 15:22, NLT I had contrasting experiences with two Christian couples who offered me counsel during and after my divorce. The first couple were a disaster for my marriage. They picked sides and pushed my Cheater towards divorce. The contempt towards me in those … Continue reading "Contrasting Lay Christian Counselors"

Mar 29, 20251 min read

David Derksen

But I did burn his evening meal... - Divorce Minister

“But I DID burn his evening meal,” says battered wife. What happens when your Cheater does actually touch on a real complaint about you? Most of us are rather introspective individuals as faithful spouses. We are probably painfully aware of our own faults and failures. So, it is especially disorienting in this time when your … Continue reading "But I did burn his evening meal…"

Mar 15, 20251 min read