I was impressed then unimpressed all in the matter of a few days.
One of the women I’m coaching was asked out by someone she sees at work weekly. This is why I was impressed. The guy asked her out and made it clear why he was asking her out. He gave her his phone number so the ball would be in her court. Bold and impressive.
So she did call him a day later after work. They have had some long conversations on the phone. Actual conversations, not text conversations. But this is also where it went awry. Before they even had their first coffee date, he was talking like they were already in a relationship. Plus he was pressuring her to allow him to stop by “just for 5 minutes so I can give you a hug” every day.
It is one thing to chat and get to know a person before a coffee date. It is another thing to presuppose you are in a relationship before there is even a coffee date.
Before there was even a coffee date, he also said the “romantic words” you complete me. Too much. Much too much.
The weekend came and went without a coffee date. Why? He never asked her out properly. He called and called and called. He asked her to meet up with him after work. She told him early on that she requires a 3-day ask before the date. He knew this and still asked her out on the fly. But he did offer to come by her home the next morning and bring her breakfast. What?
Warning. Warning. Warning. There are red lights all over this one.
Guys, don’t be like this guy. You are missing out on a beautiful match.
Women, this is not attractive at all. Right? Right?!
Sadly, this woman got ensnared in the attention that he brought to her. And receiving attention is nice. He asked for a do-over. She gave him another chance. And he still didn’t ask her out. She got the same-old, same-old. He is who he is. And that simply is not a good match.
Originally published at Bravester with permission from Brenda Seefeldt Amodea.