Do You Lean Toward Trust or Suspicion?

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“Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.” – Exodus 34:6 (NLT)

What does it look like to trust God in the midst of nothing being trustworthy?

Let me start by telling you this true story and something about our brains.

It took only 19 years of marriage for my husband to remember to take out the garbage every week.

I can take out my own garbage. I lived as a single person for 15 years. But when I got married there were three chores I couldn’t wait to pass on to someone else: taking out the garbage, filling my car with gas, and grocery shopping. I made this deal with John before we got married. John has done two of these well throughout our marriage but remembering to take out the garbage has been a stumbling block. There have been weekly promises…for 18 years. And then forgetfulness. Forgetfulness which then led to me becoming a nag. Not pretty.

This could be a cause for quite a fight, or a series of escalating fights. In every relationship there are occasional (or not so occasional) gaps or lapses. There are gaps between promises and performance. There are gaps between expected behavior and actual behavior. The problem comes in what do we do with those gaps?

Our brains innately fill those gaps with something. We can’t help ourselves. We try to make sense of the gap and how the promise didn’t mean anything or how what was expected never happened. In filling those gaps we have two directions our brains could go in: trust or suspicion. You either believe the best or suspect the worst. It always goes to each extreme, never something reasonable in the middle. Like there is a middle between trust and suspicion. I don’t think there is.

So for 18 years I had a gap with John and the garbage. I could have believed he cared very little about me which is why he always forgot to take out the garbage. Or that he doesn’t ever listen to me when I would remind him the night before. Or I could easily have ramped it up with all sorts of proof that he cares so little or chooses to not to listen because I had 18 years of proof. I can wind that up to be a pretty big fight.

But I chose to trust. I chose to fill the gap that none of this was intentional and that he really isn’t that stupid. I tried to keep the 18 years of forgetfulness as just that. I chose trust over suspicion.

This same holds true with our relationship with God. When you are in need and you pray desperate prayers because the truth is you need a desperate solution, yet in that desperate emotional state it seems like God is doing nothing, your mind will fill in the gap as to why. Once again we choose between trust or suspicion. You can choose to trust and wait it through. Or you can choose to be suspicious and that leads to so many other behaviors. And regrets.

I’ve had enough regret. I do better when I lean towards trust. And I have learned some amazing things.

I have learned from years of God’s faithfulness that I do not need to fear feeling vulnerable but that I can brave up and walk into whatever because God always carries me through. This changes me for when life disappoints me again. Because life will. I’ve learned that God will redeem every bit of this painful mess.

As Christians I’ve learned that we aren’t exempt from pain. We are actually hard-wired to heal from pain. Thus trust is built from remembering God’s track record, this long consistency of God’s faithfulness.

I’ve learned to trust in the track record of God. I’ve had to cling to this track record. I have learned to not rely on my limited experiences or limited wisdom to determine God’s character. I have learned about God’s character by remembering his track record.

“Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.” (Exodus 34:6, NLT)

The Bible repeats a variation of this verse over 20 times. This is our best description of who God really is. I am learning to trust this God.

Funny thing is how trust builds trust. When it came to not having monster arguments over the garbage for 18 years, it helped that John was good at buying the groceries and keeping my car filled with gas. I knew the potential was there. I chose trust every time. Trust builds trust.

“They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.” (Psalm 112:7, NLT)

Questions for Reflection:

1. Do you find it difficult to trust people? If so, what are some of the things that create these feelings?
   
2. What types of things can you do to remove suspicion and trust people more?
   
3. What does God’s Word say about trust? Do a Google search for “Bible Verses about Trust”. Do you see any common threads or patterns in these verses?