Preparing for Election Day 2020 as a People-Pleasing Perfectionist - Grit & Grace

I’ve been talking quite a bit about feelings lately, because honestly, there have been so many of them about so many things. This has made the practice of sitting with my feelings really challenging, but even more necessary. Speaking of feelings, how are you feeling about election day being just over two weeks away? It seems we’ve been preparing for election day for years instead of months. I guess in certain ways it has been years.

I’ve hesitated sharing for a while.

Some thoughts have been bubbling up about quite a few things lately, and all things Election 2020 is no exception. I’ve hesitated sharing for a few reasons:

• I don’t like talking about politics. Scratch that. I don’t care for people’s usual angry responses to any type of conversation that involves politics. I find certain aspects of politics – especially the history behind it – fascinating. Feared responses over what I may share – not so much. That’s probably a more accurate statement, and why I avoid these types of conversations like the plague.
• We’ve lost the ability (desire maybe?) to dialogue without destroying the opposing viewpoint, or even worse: destroying the person who holds the opposing view. We’ve confused fighting for what’s right to include (an excuse) annihilation of any other side except ours. Disagreement = Destruction. I don’t want any part of that, and why I avoid these types of conversations like the plague.

Important conversations are best had live and in person.

• Even as an introvert, I believe that most conversations are best had as actual conversations, live and in person over lunch or a cup of coffee. (Food doesn’t have to be involved, but it helps.) I don’t feel that a blog or social media post followed by back and forth commentary is the most effective way to dialogue about certain issues. Even worse are people sliding into your DMs telling you how much they disagree with you, or why they think you’re wrong without offering any real dialogue about the thing you posted about in the first place. Most of the time, what you originally posted about is misinterpreted entirely…sigh. Yet another reason why I avoid doing this like the plague.
• I’ve lived under the assumption that political discourse should be left to the so-called professionals – those that have made a career out of politics. Let the political analysts, those that study this day in and day out be the ones to talk and write about it, and share all their feelings about it. Nobody wants to hear about politics from someone who’s still struggling to figure stuff out…do they? Especially someone like me who avoids these conversations like the plague.

And that’s where I had to stop.

Those God-nudges became impossible to ignore, and I was forced to deal with some truth. The potential for backlash is not a good enough reason to keep quiet about my thoughts on a particular topic. Stirring up strife for the sake of stirring up strife is not the goal, but not sharing thoughts I think may shed light or be valuable based on the mere potential for conflict and disagreement? The potential of displeasing some (or many) people and what they expect from me and my voice should not be what determines what I share.

Not a good enough reason for keeping quiet.

Preparing for election day and talking about it: yet another opportunity to put perfectionism and people-pleasing to death.

Don’t worry, I won’t be telling you who I’m voting for, or who I think you should vote for, or what the “right” side to be on is.

Sometimes having doubts can be controversial.

You either know who you’re voting for or you don’t really love America, or you don’t believe in freedom, or you can’t call yourself a Christian, or fill in the blank. You get the idea.

On the off chance I’m not the only one finding herself somewhere in the middle yet another election year, I’m going to share a few resources that have been so helpful in keeping me grounded in love, compassion, and kindness as I’m preparing for election day:

1. Since September, reading through the Gospels on repeat is part of my morning routine most days. What better example of love, compassion, and kindness than Jesus! It started with this study back in September, followed by this one I’m currently going through for October. Whether you’ve read through these four books of the Bible a bunch of times or you’ve never read them at all, there’s no better time than right now to let our hearts, souls, and minds sit at the feet of Jesus and his words versus all the other words shouting for our attention.
2. “No clickbait. No trolls. We do the research. You decide.” The Flip Side is a free daily email that shows up in my inbox every morning. They send you the most thoughtful points from the left, right, and in-between — across 30+ news sources. I got tired of hearing what other people said the “other side” said, felt, believed. I decided it was time to get out of the echo chamber, and start listening to both sides. Click here for more info.
3. Compassion. Empathy. Is it too lofty a goal to try to continue growing in these in the middle of an election season? I don’t think so. Some wise words on compassion from a dear friend – read them here.

Focusing on what matters.

The economy, education, gun control, health care. Just some of the things we’re supposed to read up on to prepare for this election. All important things. I propose we add love, compassion, and kindness to the top of that list. It may not be the priority political analysts want us to focus on.

I’m okay with that, because it’s the stuff that will matter beyond election day.

So what have you been doing to prepare for this election?

What’s been keeping you grounded these days?

Becky is a Miami native, and has lived here all of her life. Married to her husband for over 20 years, they lead a very active lifestyle along with their three teenagers and Riley, their rescue dog. Becky loves to teach, and has had the awesome privilege of home educating her children for over twelve years. When not teaching academics, Becky loves to equip, encourage, and empower women through the teaching of her group fitness classes. Becky and her husband lead various ministries, and their family loves to serve the community through the countless opportunities provided over the past twenty years+ in their local church. She enjoys filling her “free” time with reading, writing, watching movies, and just spending time with the family. Becky has a passion for living her life with grit and grace, and encouraging others to do the same.