The Road of Bad Choices - Divorce Minister

Skip to content

And Pharaoh hardened his heart at this time also, neither would he let the people go.

-Exodus 8:32, KJV

Cheaters become cheaters by going down “The Road of Bad Choices.” They have hard hearts because they have chosen to harden their hearts just as Pharaoh did.

I make this point for two reasons:

1) I suspect many cheaters started off alright as spouses. Not all started a marriage as double-life-leading, adulterous traitors. They got there gradually.

2) The hardness of heart towards God and their spouse is chosen by them. They are fully responsible for this state of heart.

The marriage conditions did not make this happen. Poor performance on the part of the other spouse did not make this happen. Rather, the cheater’s hard heart is the natural outcome of the cheater continuously making bad and ungodly choices.

The outcome of our marriages was up in the air for many of us on our wedding day. It did not necessarily have to end in adulterous betrayal and divorce.

Even after making sinful and adulterous choices,

But many did not.

They chose to harden their hearts. They chose the path of pride over the path of humility. They chose the sinful delight of the moment over the long-term joy of righteousness.

This sorry state of affairs is NOT on you, faithful spouse; rather, the responsibility falls fully on the chooser–i.e. the cheater.

______

*A version of this post ran previously.

Post navigation

Give

Subscribe to the Daybreak Devotions for Women

Be inspired by God's Word every day! Delivered to your inbox.


More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    A hug, not a kiss - Divorce Minister

    “Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading "A hug, not a kiss"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Yes "....at just the right time" - Divorce Minister

    You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. -Romans 5:6, NIV “At just the right time” I think we are conditioned as a species to think the “right time” is when we are able to “save ourselves.” We think that is when a partnership with God is appropriate. … Continue reading "Yes “….at just the right time”"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Cheater Still Blaming Spouse - Divorce Minister

    “Sure, I cheated in the past. But I sorted that with my individual therapist. We agreed my emotional affair was really just a symptom of my marriage problems,” says Cheater. So much of the pastoral or other Christian counseling is biased towards “saving” the marriage. This bias can lead to the pastor glossing over a … Continue reading "Cheater Still Blaming Spouse"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    A Powerful Quote About Trauma - Divorce Minister

    This past week I was blessed to spend time up at a cabin in Northern Minnesota. It was a wonderful time of memory making and relaxation with family. When I was driving back home yesterday, I was listening to an audio book. In particular, I am going through When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your … Continue reading "A Powerful Quote About Trauma"

    1 min read
  • featureImage

    Expectations: Model Christian Divorcee - Divorce Minister

    “’I am innocent, but it makes no difference to me— I despise my life. Innocent or wicked, it is all the same to God. That’s why I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’” -Job 9:21-22, NLT Ever noticed the pressure among Christians to talk about “our part” when our marriages end in divorce–even … Continue reading "Expectations: Model Christian Divorcee"

    2 min read

Editor's Picks

More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    A hug, not a kiss - Divorce Minister

    “Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading "A hug, not a kiss"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Yes "....at just the right time" - Divorce Minister

    You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. -Romans 5:6, NIV “At just the right time” I think we are conditioned as a species to think the “right time” is when we are able to “save ourselves.” We think that is when a partnership with God is appropriate. … Continue reading "Yes “….at just the right time”"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Cheater Still Blaming Spouse - Divorce Minister

    “Sure, I cheated in the past. But I sorted that with my individual therapist. We agreed my emotional affair was really just a symptom of my marriage problems,” says Cheater. So much of the pastoral or other Christian counseling is biased towards “saving” the marriage. This bias can lead to the pastor glossing over a … Continue reading "Cheater Still Blaming Spouse"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    A Powerful Quote About Trauma - Divorce Minister

    This past week I was blessed to spend time up at a cabin in Northern Minnesota. It was a wonderful time of memory making and relaxation with family. When I was driving back home yesterday, I was listening to an audio book. In particular, I am going through When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your … Continue reading "A Powerful Quote About Trauma"

    1 min read
  • featureImage

    Expectations: Model Christian Divorcee - Divorce Minister

    “’I am innocent, but it makes no difference to me— I despise my life. Innocent or wicked, it is all the same to God. That’s why I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’” -Job 9:21-22, NLT Ever noticed the pressure among Christians to talk about “our part” when our marriages end in divorce–even … Continue reading "Expectations: Model Christian Divorcee"

    2 min read