How Wives Can Build Good Relationships with Their In-Laws the Christian Way

Have you ever thought you would also have to love your in-laws when you married your husband? They say that when you get married, you also marry his entire family, including your in-laws. As Christian wives, how do we build good relationships with them based on the Bible?

Our In-laws include his mother, father, siblings, and relatives. In reality, even though we are Christians, we might not have a good connection with them due to differences in culture, environment, and beliefs. 

As a Christian wife, sometimes you are caught in the middle of trying to please them and just wanting to be yourself or have your privacy. Not all of us are given the privilege of having a very close connection with our mother-in-law. 

Some might have in-laws that are very difficult to deal with. Sometimes, they have more demands on you and your husband than your demand for your marriage. Dealing with them could be one of the most significant reasons your marriage is not working.

If you have issues with your in-laws, your spouse may struggle to be in the middle between his parents or siblings and you.

However, as Christian wives, God has given us the power to discern that misunderstanding and conflicts with our in-laws could break our marriage. We have to guard ourselves because satan may use our in-laws to steal us from God’s perfect design of family.

How Wives Can Build Good Relationships with Their In-Laws

A Christian Wife fears the Lord by honoring His commands, and a part of His words says that a wise woman builds her house with her own hands. (Proverbs 41:1). The foolish one tears her house down. 

If your marriage is at stake because of your problems with your in-laws, then you have to do something to protect it. After all, God has blessed your marriage, and your duty as a Christian wife is to build and defend God’s blessings. 

Otherwise, your house will fall, and your children will also be affected.

Always remember that you are a Christian, and dealing with your in-laws is another way of demonstrating who Jesus is in you. Your efforts in making good relationships with them are not just for them but most especially for God.

Here are some ways to help you connect well with your In-laws as a Christian wife.

Show the Christian Character

Although we are Christians, we are not excused for not having misunderstandings and issues with our in-laws. Some may also have Christian in-laws but still has a problem. 

As Christian wives, we are ambassadors of Jesus. We have to show that we are different from other wives. Dealing with our in-laws is a burden. Sometimes, they would test your limits, and you might have enough of their manipulative and demanding behavior. 

Remember that when you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you died for yourself and lived for Him. No matter how annoying and frustrating your in-laws are, as a Christian, you have to show the love, compassion, and grace that you have received from God.

Exodus 20:12 says we must honor parents, which includes being patient, kind, gentle, and respectful. This command also applies to our in-laws.

Live Peacefully with Your In-Laws

Living peacefully with your in-laws means living with them literary. As much as possible, have a separate house from them, but it does not mean you will not have good terms with each other. 

Not having an enemy could give a peaceful life to focus more on what matters most.  Most especially with your in-laws, having a good relationship with them could help you focus on serving God and caring for your family. 

Though you cannot control your in-laws’ words and actions, you can control yours. You can control the way you respond to situations. Regardless of how they treat you, remember that you are not just a wife but a Christian wife who pleases God by being a woman from Proverbs 31.

Romans 12:18 says that we should live peaceably with everyone as far as it depends on us.

God will help us control ourselves because He knows we cannot do it alone.

Set Boundaries

Boundaries are set to organize the relationship between people. Like employees with limitations to their bosses, our relationship with our in-laws is. 

The Scripture says in Matthew 19:5 that a man will separate from his parents and live with his wife, for they become one.  It means there will be limitations for your husband’s parents as you build your family. 

Honoring your in-laws does not require sacrificing all your feelings, wants, needs, and choices to respect their opinions. You do not have to allow them to disrespect, navigate or manipulate you for their benefit. 

You can also set boundaries on how they care for and treat your children. 

Sometimes, the most respectful response is to say “no” in a diplomatic way, firmly. As a Christian wife, it is okay not to allow them to control and manipulate you. But you still need to maintain mutual respect.

You may need to ask your husband to talk to his parents about how you feel and try to make them understand what you want and do not want regarding child care. 

Have a Civil Relationship

A good relationship does not mean having a close connection with your in-laws. But as a Christian wife, you can have a civil yet good relationship with them.  

If your mother-in-law has high standards in some things, you can find ways to help her that would not involve meeting her high expectations. You may not bond closely with your in-laws because of your differences or expectations. But you can still be civil with each other.

You can be proactive and try to do what you can to establish a good relationship with your in-laws. Also, remember not to compete with other family members to avoid conflict. 

Some wives also have difficulty dealing with their sister-in-law because they may think you are just a newcomer competing for their family’s or brother’s attention. As a Christian wife, remember to stay civil and treat them with respect. 

Keeping civility as your top priority with your in-laws makes it easier for you to focus on alternative and efficient ways to deal with your emotions. As a Christian, it would be easier to remain calm in dealing with your anger and frustrations.