21 Ideas to Destress in the Evening - Lisa E Betz

Are you stuck in an after-dinner-veg-out rut? I am. Day after day, I find myself slouched on the sofa, doing the SAME THING I did yesterday. And the day before that. And the week before that. If you’re stuck in a similar rut, these 21 ideas to destress in the evening will help you destress and restore your energy more effectively.

• Is stress weighing you down or eating into your gut?
• Do you feel weary and uninspired no matter how many hours of chilling out you do?
• Are you stuck in a rut like I am, always falling back on the same escapist activities night after night?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, read on to find help. But before I get to the solutions, a few more words about where stress could be hiding in our lives.

5 sneaky ways stress may be building up in our lives

Mask-wearing. Trying to fit in or live up to a certain image is emotionally and mentally taxing. We may not realize how much people-pleasing and living up to expectations adds stress to our lives.

Sensory overload. Working or living in an environment where certain senses are constantly bombarded adds sensory stress on top of everything else. And when the sensory overload also takes an emotional or spiritual toll, it’s a double whammy.   

Couch potatoing. Expecting passive activities like watching TV to restore depleted reserves. Chilling out in the recliner may rest tired muscles, but it’s not a very effective way to restore our mental, emotional, and spiritual reserves. Think of it as trying to recharge our batteries  

Constant Multitasking. The more plates we have spinning, the more mental energy we’re expending. Even if the plates are supposedly fun or relaxing, spinning multiple plates is not restful. Our brains need a break.

Ignoring pain. When something hurts, it’s your body’s way of signaling that something needs attention. Sometimes our pain is partly due to emotional stress or other factors that are not directly related to our physical body. Likewise, physical pain affects us in other areas, making it harder to think or control emotions. Restoring health in any one area can boost wholeness to your entire being.

Overcoming stress by intentionally pursuing restful activities

Rest is active, restorative, and relational.  

Saundra Dalton-Smith, M.D. in Sacred Rest

We humans are not just a body. We are a complex being with body, emotions, mind, and spirit connected. When we are stressed in one facet, it affects other areas negatively. When we increase health or wholeness in one facet, it affects other areas positively.

Thus, when we fill our reservoirs in any area, it helps reduce stress and improve overall health in the other areas. We may not notice an immediate difference, but that doesn’t mean nothing is happening.

21 ideas to destress in the evening

The list below includes activities designed to restore many different aspects of your whole person that you may have been ignoring. As you read through the list, consider where stress is rearing its ugly head in your life and find an activity that will help you revive the parts of your being that are most depleted.

Dealing with physical and sensory stress

• Work out some of the tension in your body with gentle stretches, easy yoga, Tai Chi or other activities that are slow, calming and mindful. Experts suggest avoiding strenuous activities near bedtime, but some mindful stretching may help you relax and help keep you limber.
• If you are in constant motion, you may benefit from some intentional stillness. Spend 5-10 minutes in meditation or soaking in the tub. No guilt, just relax and keep your mind focused on grateful thoughts.  
•  Intentionally set aside time to unplug from devices and screens. “The most stressed-out people in my practice are those most responsive to their technology.” Saundra Dalton-Smith, M.D. in Sacred Rest
• Do a sensory detox. Identify sensory stressors you regularly encounter and find ways to counteract them.  Silence instead of constant noise.
• Create a personal sensory delight list. Select a single sense (taste, smell, touch) and purposefully experiment with a variety of options. Pay full attention and notice which ones are most pleasant. Create a personal list of scents, textures, sounds, sights, and tastes that calm, rejuvenate, or uplift. In the future, go to this list and soak up the goodness when you need a boost.

Dealing with mental, emotional and social stress

• Keep gratitude journal and add to it each night. Practice noticing the positives (instead of focusing on the negatives) in your personal life and in your surroundings.
• Practice mental variety. You use different parts of your brain for different types of mental tasks. Therefore, if your day job involves a lot of math then sudoku may not be the best way to relax at night. Instead, try activities that use a different mental area such as writing, imagination, music, or spacial thinking.
• Try your hand at poetry. Many people find it therapeutic.
• Find safe people to be vulnerable and authentic with, to detox from your day of wearing masks and being “professional.”
• Have a conversation with someone who makes you feel safe, loved, and appreciated. Don’t take these relationships for granted. We need positive relationships to counteract all the negative social interactions we experience.
•  Be intentional about getting together with friends for a fun evening at least once or twice a month.
• Laugh more. Spend a few minutes reading or watching good, wholesome comedy. For example, Dry Bar Comedy or Clean Comedy.

Creative pursuits and hobbies

• Play with hair. Your own, or a family member’s.
• Play a board game or interactive group game. Anything that gets you interacting with actual objects (other than screens) and actual people.
• Do a jigsaw puzzle or other project that can involve multiple people. For example, work together to build a complicated Lego™ contraption.  
• Play an instrument or sing, just for fun.
• Work on a hobby like knitting that can easily be picked up and set down again. If possible, find a space to leave the project out so you can easily work on it. Examples include cross stitch, and coloring, scrapbooking, jewelry-making, and woodworking.
• Engage with a story. Read a book aloud. Act out a scene with puppets. Make your own comic book or picture book version of a favorite fairy tale. (If you can’t draw, use stock images from places like Canva, Pixabay and Pexels.)

Make tomorrow easier

Create a double win with tasks that help you destress in the evening AND make life easier in the future.  

• Get a head start on the next holiday. If you have good intentions but run out of time, this could be your answer. Write your Christmas letter in October. Make that special someone the bookcase you’ve been planning to build. Or, use your crafty skills to make your next gift extra special with hand-decorated gift tags, greeting cards, or gift bags.
• Tidy up or declutter a small space in your house. Aim for 10-15 minute-sized chunks. (This is especially useful at getting to the spots you never get to in your regular housecleaning.) This little bit of effort will get you off the sofa and cross a nagging task off your mental list.
•  Browse recipes and choose something new and interesting for dinner tomorrow night (or when you next have time to cook).

That’s enough inspiration for today. Which of these will you try tonight?

I challenge you to put at least three of these into practice in the next week. You’ll be glad you did.