Blaming Behavior of "Friends" - Divorce Minister
Hide me from the plots of this evil mob,
from this gang of wrongdoers.
They sharpen their tongues like swords
and aim their bitter words like arrows.
They shoot from ambush at the innocent,
attacking suddenly and fearlessly.-Psalm 64:2-4, NLT
“She never did anything to you that you weren’t already doing in the marriage. Let’s be honest,” says “friend.”
Some people are unwilling to face the ugly facts about cheating.
They will choose to blame the faithful spouse instead of acting the terrible facts about the cheater. This can be very disorienting when this person was a “friend” in the past. It is very hurtful as I am sure you all know.
In my opinion, a person who does this is NOT friend material.
Adultery is soul rape. A person who attacks the victim of this sin is a victim-blamer. It is heinous behavior. They are adding to the abuse. That is not friend behavior.
I believe people do this sort of thing to deal with the dissonance of remaining friends with the cheater. They do not want to loose that relationship. So, it is easier on them to believe we–faithful spouses–did something to deserve our abuse.
They engage in perpetuating “The Shared Responsibility Lie” that states shared responsibility exists for the sins committed by the cheater.
This is not a person to keep in your life. They are not safe. Such actions says that they will choose a lie over the truth if it makes them comfortable. They will do this at the cost of their relationship with you.
